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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24582430">Failures and Fallacies</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooningemini/pseuds/mooningemini'>mooningemini</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kingdom Hearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Bed-Wetting, Carefic, Desperation, Kink, Kink Exploration, M/M, Masturbation, Omorashi, Oral Sex, Unintentional, Watersports, Wetting, handjobs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:27:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,871</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24582430</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooningemini/pseuds/mooningemini</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, despite best efforts, things get out of hand.</p><p>Ienzo gets a valuable lesson in human fallibility, and what happens when he pushes himself too hard, for too long.</p><p>(And perhaps discover a new kink in the process.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Demyx/Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Demyx/Zexion (Kingdom Hearts)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a long day.</p><p>Ienzo shifted uncomfortably in his chair. The discomfort had been quite prominent for a while, but so far he’d been able to ignore it. He had too much to do, and besides, such things had never gotten in his way before such humanity. Why should it start now?</p><p>The data on the screen should’ve made sense, but it was all odd, off, buggy. He sighed and scrubbed at his brow. He’d started sweating at some point--the computer, and the heavy cotton of his lab coat made the room feel quite hot--and the dampness on his face was distracting.</p><p>For more than one reason.</p><p>He sighed heavily. Humanity was odd, alien, inconvenient, and more than anything else, <em> needy </em>. More often than not lately he missed the days of Zexion, when he did not need to sleep, or eat, and any other… discomforts could quite literally be willed away. </p><p>He shifted again, trying to compromise with the hateful pressure in his pelvis. It had been there for a while--hard to tell how long--not helped at all by the absent-minded cups of tea. Many of them. He took another deep breath. He really <em> should </em> get up and take care of this, but the closest working restroom was a fifteen minute walk away, and besides, he was in the middle of something. Discomfort was irrelevant. It was easy to ignore hunger, or thirst, or even exhaustion. What was this?</p><p>He turned back to his notebook, trying to consult what he’d decoded. His must’ve run his eyes over the same lines of numbers a few times, not taking in anything, feeling nothing but <em> pressure </em> . <em> Get it together </em> , he thought. <em> You’re not a child. </em> Why on earth did his human body require so much more maintenance, when it was functionally the same as his Nobody’s? Perhaps he should ask Even; he might know. </p><p>Ienzo shut the notebook, crossed his legs. Uncrossed. It did not seem to help. He needed more sufficient distraction, if so for a moment, if so to get things back on track. Things were larger, more important, than supposed <em> needs </em>. One thing he did know that supposedly “worked” was… fantasy.</p><p>He swallowed. Well.</p><p>One of his many new <em> adjustments </em> had been sexuality. Prior, any significant expression or encounter had been out of curiosity, and nothing more, the orgasms from such acts completely clinical, the barest form of release (the thought of the word made him shudder a little). He’d discovered one morning after a <em> questionable </em> dream that he was not the asexual entity that he’d thought. And recently… there was more than just dreams.</p><p>He thought he would despise having Demyx here, or at the very least find him <em> incredibly </em> annoying, but after the boy became human again, he’d caught Ienzo at a particularly emotionally vulnerable moment (his new heart was quite torturous with its guilt) and asked if a drink might help. The alcohol had made things even more muddled, even more overwhelming, and they’d made out long and hard on the sitting room floor, grinding against one another until… well. </p><p>He considered this moment wearily. It had happened again since then. The human body was needy, but its rewards, more intense. Who were they hurting? Perhaps it was all a horrible mistake, and would end messily, but Ienzo was just so <em> tired </em> of fighting.</p><p>He thought of the most recent of these encounters, when Demyx had found him researching in the library, and rather than spirit him away to somewhere private, he’d simply ducked under the desk where Ienzo was sitting and--</p><p>This <em> was </em> helping. But it wasn’t helping his productivity.</p><p>He let himself linger on this moment, on the way Demyx’s mouth felt around his dick, on the way he’d finally been able to stop <em> thinking </em> for a few minutes. Perhaps… perhaps Ienzo might find him later and--</p><p>Okay. Enough of that. Hormones in check, body in check. Back to work. </p><p>He didn’t get far. The heat and the numbers were making him dizzy. He noticed, to his shock, his hand had crossed to his crotch and pressed hard. He sighed again. “Alright, enough,” he said aloud. He drew the line at gripping himself like a child. Back into reality, he realized that he was so full it physically hurt. All he had to do was save and make his way to the nearest restroom--it would be annoying, but he had to get it done.</p><p>Except Ienzo, despite his computer literacy, had not saved in some time, and when he finally enacted this function, it was taking its <em> sweet </em> time, and <em> kingdom hearts he hated having a body so much-- </em></p><p>
  <em> Get it together. You’re an adult. </em>
</p><p>Shakily, he stood. The desperation seemed to double down, and he tensed. It was his own fault for getting in this situation. He should’ve just gotten up earlier, but it was so <em> annoying </em> taking that long walk across the castle, and honestly he thought his own capacity was better than this. He took a few cautious steps towards the lab door, trying not to hyperfixate on what it would finally feel like to be free of this burden, of what it would feel like to, yes--</p><p>He cut off the thought abruptly. He would rather think of sex than the alternative, because he could not risk losing control, he was <em> an adult </em> . How <em> embarrassing </em> would it be if he could not keep a grasp on the simplest of bodily functions.</p><p>The more his walking jolted him, however, the more he questioned himself, and he wondered if instead of making it to the restroom, he might find somewhere else, literally anywhere else, to <em> deal </em> with this problem, a plant, an open drainpipe, anywhere other than--</p><p>“Zo! Hey. There you are. You didn’t respond to my texts, so I didn’t know if--”</p><p>He felt the blood rush to his face. Dizzily, he turned. “Demyx, I… I’m sorry, I was quite distracted--” Understatement of the century. It was harder standing still than it was to move.</p><p>He crossed a little closer to him. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re a busy guy. I get it. I was wondering if--are you alright?”</p><p>Ienzo was trying not to squirm. Humiliating, to get himself into this state; he felt a hot flush of panic. “I’m… fine. It’s very warm in there.”</p><p>“Would help if you took off all the excess layers.” A smirk. “I could help with that.”</p><p>“Is that why you were… finding me?” Willpower. Control. </p><p>“...My afternoon’s pretty free. You tell me.”</p><p>Right. Oh. It came to him slowly. If fantasy could help, couldn’t the real thing? Better to make his way around half or fully hard than--</p><p>God. How had he let it get this bad?</p><p>Demyx frowned. “What’s going on? You look weird.”</p><p>The desperation made it hard to act logically. Instead, Ienzo just reached forward and kissed him. After a moment, Demyx kissed him back, and he felt the <em> slightest </em> relief with the distraction. Demyx pressed him against the wall of the hallway and kissed him harder; the sudden movement just shook that horrid organ, and he had to fight not to wet himself then and there. But after a few beats, Ienzo was not quite so focused on the desperation as the tongue in his mouth, on Demyx’s hand wandering slowly down his body, across his hip, kneading his cock through his pants. He unbuttoned Ienzo’s jacket and kept working him, and the resulting fleeting relief from this was enough to calm the panic fluttering in his best. </p><p>“You’re so tense,” Demyx said. “Relax. There’s nobody coming.” He slipped his hand down Ienzo’s waistband; normally he drew the line at such play in public, but he honestly needed it. </p><p>He gasped a little. “Wait--I--” </p><p>“Do you want me to stop?”</p><p>The way his hand moved was so good, distracting him from the awful pain between his hips. “No,” he murmured, pressing harder against him.</p><p>“Let me take care of you.”</p><p>His touch was so much more than Ienzo was used to, but why? It took him a moment of blurry thought, of bucking wordlessly against his fingers, before he thought he might have figured it out. Considering how <em> full </em> he was, there was quite a lot more blood flowing down there, blood which might make the sensation more <em> intense. </em> It wasn’t right, he thought dazedly, trying to hold back the orgasm. Was the human body truly so <em> gross </em> it could get off on a side effect of its own functions? </p><p>Ienzo could feel Demyx’s own hard dick pressed against him, but he was too overwhelmed to touch it, caught up in a strange maelstrom of desperation and pleasure. He should tell Demyx to stop touching him <em> right now </em> lest he accidentally finish, and he was positive if he finished he would--</p><p>“It’s okay, Zo,” Demyx murmured, kissing his throat. “Let go.”</p><p><em> You truly do not want me to, </em> he thought. He wasn’t even sure he could make it to a plant or a drainpipe if this were to happen, even just turning away and taking his dick out would be enough--</p><p>The knot inside of him tightened and tightened, and <em> god </em> there must be something wrong with him if he wanted to come right now, even just a handjob unravelling him so. He was gasping. “Demyx…” He tried, weakly. </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Please, I--” Words easy to misinterpret. Demyx doubled down on his touch, and Ienzo wasn’t able to tell him adequately; not just that, but he suspected he didn’t <em> want </em> to--</p><p>He gasped. The orgasm that broke over him was so intense he thought he might faint, and once it was over he was faced with an almost painful realization. He couldn’t hold it in.</p><p>He <em> couldn’t </em>.</p><p>Just seconds after he finished he felt the trickle, one that could be confused simply for cum, but Ienzo knew better, and the wave of panic that overtook him  made everything dizzy. Even that small release was tantalizing, and too soon he felt another.</p><p>By them Demyx had withdrawn and was back to kissing him. He was going to find this so vulgar, so gross--</p><p>An actual pang of pain struck him, and he winced. “Zo?” he asked, confused. “What’s--”</p><p>The trickle became a faint stream, but still not visible, and he tried to turn away before it all started in earnest. His bladder strained against him. He wondered if he might just whip it out, who cared about the fallout--</p><p>His body had other plans.</p><p>People, he knew, could sometimes reach a point of fullness where they literally had no option, no control over the release. He had just hit that point, and the orgasm did not help one bit--the slight relaxation he’d gained from it had been his undoing.</p><p>He was fucked.</p><p>Demyx did not see it outwardly, but he felt Ienzo tense, which was somehow <em> worse </em>. He struggled in vain not to completely wet himself, but it was clear he could no longer argue, the stream breaking through his stranglehold--</p><p>“Oh, god,” he hissed, the embarrassment, the desperation making his face burn.</p><p>“Zo--what’s--”</p><p>He felt it begin in earnest, heat rushing down his legs disjointedly. He was in too much pain to feel relief. He kept fighting it, because if he didn’t he wasn’t sure what would happen--complete mental collapse, perhaps?</p><p>“Are you--”</p><p>“God,” he repeated, unable to meet his eyes. “Please, leave me.” His chest hitched, and he couldn’t <em> breathe. </em> The thought of humiliating himself so in front of the sole person in this castle he could bear to speak to was just too much, panic rushing over him just like the piss trying to leave him.</p><p>“Ienzo. Ienzo, look at me.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Take a deep breath.” Demyx brought a finger under his chin and made him look up. “It’s okay.”</p><p>“No, it’s not--”</p><p>“It’s okay. Shit happens.”</p><p>“But I can’t--” He couldn’t hold it anymore, but he couldn’t seriously do it right here, but it was still physically painful, and he couldn’t honestly remember the last time he’d gone. Fear and anxiety threatened to overwhelm him. Why were hearts so sadistic, human bodies so fallible?</p><p>“Zo.”</p><p>He was audibly panting with the effort of maintaining control. “I’m disgusting.”</p><p>“No, you’re not. You just pushed yourself too hard. Relax. Let go. We can deal with whatever happens afterwards.”</p><p>His kindness just forced more tears to his eyes, and between the panic, and the humiliation, and the <em> fullness </em>, he did.</p><p>Warmth and wetness left him almost with force. He was too full to feel real relief, at least not for a moment, but slowly the pain eased. He kept his eyes on Demyx’s shoulder, shuddering. He only had one pair of shoes that fit, how was he going to explain washing them? Here he was soaking himself like an infant because he hadn’t taken his own needs seriously enough. He thought he might cry, adding to the awfulness of all of this.</p><p>Demyx drew him a little closer, keeping their hips apart, and rubbed his back. “It’s okay,” he said. </p><p>“How is it okay?”</p><p>He kissed his forehead, his cheek. “I don’t think any less of you.”</p><p>Maybe it was the words, maybe it was the sheer volume that had already left him, but the relief hit him so suddenly he swayed, and Demyx held him up. The pleasure was so immediate, so intense, he nearly moaned out loud. <em> I must be losing my mind, </em> he thought dazedly. He wondered at the odd tactile sensation of wet cloth, pressed against his legs. This had to be some kind of coping mechanism. There was no way he was genuinely <em> enjoying </em> this. </p><p>After too long (and not long enough?) he felt it begin to end. He tried to regain his breath, his composure, his <em> dignity. </em></p><p>“Are you okay?” Demyx asked, trying to get him to meet his eyes.</p><p>“Obviously not,” he hissed. “I just completely pissed myself in front of you.”</p><p>“It happens,” he reasserted. “We’re not used to being human. We’re not used to… needing stuff.”</p><p>Ienzo looked down, and wished he hadn’t. His pants were soaked, and there was quite a bit of <em> fluid </em> beneath him. “If you wish to never touch me again--”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Demyx said firmly. “To be completely honest? Seeing you <em> not </em> be in control was a little hot.”</p><p>He looked down again, and saw Demyx’s half-hard dick through his pants. “Oh,” he said instead. </p><p>“Sorry. Just speaking the truth.”</p><p>“I’m… glad you did.” He exhaled; he felt like he could finally breathe again.  “So what do I…”</p><p>“Button up your coat. I don’t think that’s got any on it. I’ll make sure there’s nobody coming so you can get back to your room.”</p><p>He nodded. More than anything, he was exhausted now. “Thank you,” he said softly.</p><p>Demyx grinned. “Of course. Hey, I’m just setting it up so that when something happens to <em> me </em> you pick up the pieces.”</p><p>He chuckled a little. “Fair enough.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ienzo feels conflicted over the incident, and decides to take Demyx's advice.</p><p>AKA: Ienzo learns about kinks.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm honestly surprised at how well-received this was, considering I wrote it for myself for fun ^_^ If anybody has any prompts for this pairing or kink please tell me!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>One of the things Ienzo had been taught was to, when presented with a questionable situation, gather more data. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He found himself thinking of that particular encounter often, despite the wave of embarrassment it gave him. Demyx had so </span>
  <em>
    <span>tactfully </span>
  </em>
  <span>never mentioned it again, but Ienzo knew this was something that would always be between them. The strange dichotomy of humiliation, pain, and yes, pleasure. Had it just been relief making him feel so?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(And why, pray tell, did he find himself thinking about it during private moments?)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a while every time it came up he tried to push it out of his mind, crossed by a shame so powerful it made him nauseous. But with the shame was an odd preoccupation about the pleasure he’d felt those few moments. Had it honestly been </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> traumatizing, that his physiological response was dubiously positive? He tried to do anything in his power to prevent it from happening </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>--taking breaks every few hours, trying to </span>
  <em>
    <span>listen</span>
  </em>
  <span> to what his body needed. Humans were fallible, and fragile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were some benefits to humanity, though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx pressed him more insistently against the wall of the study, kissing him hard. Ienzo found something about his scent strangely calming, despite his racing heart, his dick hard in his work slacks. He was never quite sure what would come of these encounters, and perhaps this was part of the thrill. He reached to feel at Demyx’s cock, first getting a handful of denim before he heard a soft moan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They eased down so gently against the wall, until they were on the floor, and Ienzo was on top of him, and Demyx was working off his jacket and sweater and shirt. One of them had shut and locked the door--he could not remember which--so there wasn’t a risk of getting </span>
  <em>
    <span>caught</span>
  </em>
  <span>, necessarily, but there was some small thrill in doing this when they were supposed to be working. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you,” Demyx said, in a beautifully breathy voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo slipped off his shirt. “How?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to be inside you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt a hot throb of want. “But do you even have--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A chuckle. “I left it in my pants from last time. These are those pants.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...You truly </span>
  <em>
    <span>must</span>
  </em>
  <span> wash your clothes more often.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx kissed at his throat, gently running his tongue over Ienzo’s scar from Zexion's death, and the thought slipped his mind. “So what do you say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Yes, I--” He felt like he couldn’t breathe, and was suddenly glad he’d… </span>
  <em>
    <span>prepared</span>
  </em>
  <span> himself this morning, knowing they would be together at some point but not when or how. Best to have a contingency plan. Demyx eased him onto the floor, slipping off the rest of his clothing. It shouldn’t feel good to be naked on this dusty rug. </span>
  <em>
    <span>People are so weird,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thought, and moaned a little as he felt Demyx begin to work him in earnest. With shaking hands, he tried to get at Demyx’s jeans, and after an awkward moment felt his naked body pressed so </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautifully</span>
  </em>
  <span> against Ienzo’s. For a moment they ground up against each other before he felt Demyx’s hand slide up under him, the lube cool against his skin. “At least…” Ienzo swallowed. “Put my underwear under me. The lube will stain the carpet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx laughed at him. “You’re thinking about this gross dusty old thing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s an antique--” He gasped, feeling a finger enter him. He shifted his hips forward and Demyx obliged him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There were no </span>
  <em>
    <span>antiques</span>
  </em>
  <span> when I made you come all over your desk in the library.” Another finger. He leaned down to kiss him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wood is </span>
  <em>
    <span>much</span>
  </em>
  <span> easier to clean than wool carpeting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gotta say. This conversation is not that hot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Then you’d better find another way of shutting me up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt Demyx’s tongue slide into his mouth, a chill shooting down his spine. Tremblingly, Ienzo reached down to stroke Demyx’s cock, pre already along the tip. Too soon, the fingers left him, and Ienzo helped him lube it. He always loved watching Demyx’s face as he took him, the small moan that left him. At some point this had become familiar. Not so much an exchange, but… what?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx began to move against him, forcing thought from his mind. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This</span>
  </em>
  <span> was why he did this, just to feel something good for once. And it was good. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> good. He used to be embarrassed of making noise, regardless of whether or not he could help it. Demyx was hitting his g-spot </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> right, and for a moment he simply existed, not as Ienzo, the atoner, or Ienzo, the researcher, but a person fucking another on a beautiful afternoon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so good,” Demyx murmured against his throat. Ienzo could feel the tension hitching in him in earnest, and he moved his hips a little harder against Demyx. He listened, taking Ienzo with more force, a heady sort of rocking, and Ienzo pulled him closer--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pressure of their bodies together made him aware of the dull fullness of his bladder, and for a second it broke the pleasure of what was happening, and Ienzo nearly started to panic until he realized it wasn’t bad, that it was in fact quite manageable despite all this movement. He was getting to the point where if he stopped Demyx now he’d likely just blueball them both, and that wouldn’t help anybody. He tried to draw his attention back to the cock sliding in and out of him, but the rocking was just making him </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> aware of this need.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it wasn’t turning him </span>
  <em>
    <span>off</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That was the strange thing. The fullness just made him more aware of how hard he was, how the tension flowed in him, and his own dick throbbed. How peculiar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so fucking hot,” Demyx mumbled against his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Would he still find me hot if he knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>why</span>
  <em>
    <span> I was enjoying this so much?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But Demyx, that day in the hallway, had told him that loss of control had been arousing… as he grew so </span>
  <em>
    <span>tantalizingly</span>
  </em>
  <span> closer, he wondered at the thought of doing that </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>. What it might feel like. The vague desperation made all the </span>
  <em>
    <span>sweeter</span>
  </em>
  <span> by feeling himself getting fucked. Demyx grasped at Ienzo’s cock and started stroking him, and normally he could last a few beats longer than this, but only a pump or so later he was coming hard and fast against Demyx’s hand, a sensation that made him dizzy. A second later Ienzo heard him moan, feeling Demyx spill into him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t wet himself, not like last time. In the afterglow, being slightly full after all that was actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>pleasant.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d enjoyed it. Undeniably so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, I don’t know what got into you, but I feel goddamn </span>
  <em>
    <span>weak</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Demyx propped himself up on a shaking elbow, withdrawing from him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Quite,” he said weakly, unable to meet his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx had found it </span>
  <em>
    <span>hot</span>
  </em>
  <span> last time. They were sexual partners. Was it worth bringing up? Or would it make him even more susceptible to rejection? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His struggle must’ve shown on his face, because Demyx added, “Zo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um…” He swallowed, still slightly breathless. “Do you… recall… several weeks ago, in the hallway, when I…” He tried to make himself spit the words out. “When I… lost control?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinked, his flush turning  bit pinker. “Uh. Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said you found it… arousing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged and dropped his eyes. “You’re always so put together and uptight. Seeing you completely give into something… I dunno, does it for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The… control, or the--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Piss?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He winced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What made you bring that up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo braced himself. He shut his eyes. “I fear I may have enjoyed it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx just cocked his head. “I can see that,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not weird?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ienzo, some people are into a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of weird shit. A control kink is honestly pretty vanilla.” He shrugged and reached for his shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He bit his lip. “I think I was into it because of you, not because of… that. But, uh. Yeah, I’ve jerked off to it. No shame.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blush in his face felt permanent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you… want to explore that more?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...There has to be something wrong with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He squeezed Ienzo’s hand. “Believe me, I would tell you if there was something wrong with you--which there isn’t. But, uh. If you’re not sure, why not try dealing with it more during your… me time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. He was shaking a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx chucked him under the chin. “Hey, Zo. Don’t be ashamed. If anything, thanks for telling me.” He kissed him on the forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo swallowed. “...Quite,” he said. “I should… wash up and get back to work, yes?”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Weren’t fetishes indicative of… larger psychological issues? Was this a fetish? Where was the line between kink and fetish--if there was one?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo knew internally he was a hot mess. There was the transition to an alien humanity, there was the guilt, the lack of self-worth, the crippling anxiety. Which one of these--or all of them?--did this stem from? And would </span>
  <em>
    <span>exploring</span>
  </em>
  <span> it be cathartic, and a way to cope, or would it just </span>
  <em>
    <span>worsen</span>
  </em>
  <span> them?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perhaps he should… try to find out. Take Demyx’s advice. As it were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since they’d been sleeping together he hadn’t been masturbating as much. No need, after all. But in the dim beginning of his adult life as Ienzo, there had been times when he’d spent </span>
  <em>
    <span>hours</span>
  </em>
  <span> trying to figure out this new body, once he’d gotten over the shame of it. Sitting down and consciously thinking </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes, now I will stimulate my genitals,</span>
  </em>
  <span> like he was an experiment and not a person, was uncomfortable. Instead he decided that the next time he seriously needed to relieve himself he would… try, instead of seeking a restroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This came later than he might’ve thought, considering he’d been avoiding it like the plague since the accident. Drinking less, urinating more. Being </span>
  <em>
    <span>responsible</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He was coldly conscious all the time of that part of him now, if it needed attention. He did not </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to piss himself in front of any of his father figures. He could only imagine what Even or Dilan might have to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Why did the thought of it happening again--though not in front of them--arouse him?)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even’s endless wittering over his data work one day provided the perfect distraction to fill himself, and over the course of a few hours he again felt that desperation creep over him in earnest. As casually as possible, he excused himself, claiming he needed to go get some more books. The uncomfortable jolting as he walked all the way back to his room--torturously past several toilets--just brought a flush to his face. By the time he’d finally shut his bedroom door behind himself, listening for any rogue footsteps in the hallway, he had to reach down and squeeze himself once. The instinctual shame of it almost made him not realize he was already half-hard. On impulse, he grabbed the towel from the rack in his own bathroom (the sight of the toilet nearly too much), spread it on the bed, got undressed. A faint breeze came through the covered window, raising the fine hairs on his arms and making him shiver. He sat, and after a moment of squirming, lay down, noticing it felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>much</span>
  </em>
  <span> fuller, his bladder muscles positively throbbing, his cock hardening more at the strange sweetness of it. He took a few shaky breaths. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t move, trying to catalogue all of this sensation. His racing heart, the flush of arousal, the desperate need for a long hard piss. The thought of relief was almost intoxicating at this point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perhaps he felt this way because, as a Nobody, he had been largely indifferent to the small pleasures of fulfilling bodily needs? Was this some form of backlog of that? Or the control issues coming from how little agency he’d had over his life, and for that matter, his death?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The longer he pondered it, the worse the fullness became, the last of his cups of tea catching up to him brutally. He squeezed himself again, feeling a rush of shame, but he realized in a breath that the shame was part of the exhilaration. Maybe due to his self-loathing? Perhaps trying to control this shame, to gain power from it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>would</span>
  </em>
  <span> be healing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or maybe he was completely procrastinating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He squirmed a little, feeling the fluid slosh inside of him. With a shaking hand, he stroked himself once. The hardness was </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> than a completely sex-driven erection, but the hitch he felt was divine, his bladder tensing slightly, a confusing pleasure-pain. He took a deep breath and started to knead himself in earnest, shocked at how little internal stimulation he needed--no fantasy or memories. It was just a sort of pure enjoyment of this once-dreaded state, a moment of being completely </span>
  <em>
    <span>embodied</span>
  </em>
  <span> instead of cerebral. He felt the pre along his fingertips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard himself gasping a little, soft small noises he hardly ever made on his own. The desperation was making him dizzy, a knot tightening inside of him, the need for two kinds of release almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>ecstatic</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The only thing he wished for, in that moment, was perhaps someone to enjoy it with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moved a little quicker. He wanted to prolong this as long as possible, but at the same time, the fullness was starting to become an ache. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This is me,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thought dazedly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This is my body, and I am enjoying it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He clutched at the sheet with his free hand, feeling himself start to cave, a lush heat creeping through him and clenching around his bladder so goddamn </span>
  <em>
    <span>sweetly</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moaned aloud, feeling the orgasm roll through him, making his joints and muscles feel soft and relaxed as he hardly ever was. He sat up a little, the pressure making him wince, and much like last time he felt the trickle. Ienzo forced himself to his feet. Naive to think a towel would be enough, but he’d been aroused, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>dying</span>
  </em>
  <span> for a piss, and unable to think clearly. At least the bathroom was only a few steps away. He could feel it running down his leg. He had to pee so badly he could barely </span>
  <em>
    <span>walk</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he felt no panic. No fear. Perhaps as a grown man he should’ve, and this was something he could consider </span>
  <em>
    <span>later</span>
  </em>
  <span>, after he fucking pissed--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hobbled into the shower, the closest of the three drains in the room, and felt his body just completely give in. The warmth was strange, rushing disjointedly down skin, oddly pleasant, and he pressed his clean hand against his mouth. The relief was almost as beautiful as the orgasm, and he bit his finger hard. Weirder to moan over urinating on himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should feel ashamed. Humiliated. But did he? Honestly, truly?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not quite.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After what felt like a long time, he was finally empty, feeling dizzy and drained now and in need of a nap. Ienzo started the shower and began to clean himself. How self indulgent this had all been, he thought. He really should be getting back to work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> given an answer to his hypothesis.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Demyx helps Ienzo explore this kink further.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>What to do with this information, though?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo still felt exceedingly awkward. There was an odd dissociation between having the self that had the kink, and the self that went through mundane life. Almost like he was still denying it. He wasn’t sure if continuing to tinker with it was actually helping him, or if he was just spending excessive time masturbating when he should be hard at work. Should he tell Demyx what he’d learned? Then what? The concept of </span>
  <em>
    <span>acting</span>
  </em>
  <span> on this kink in front of him was equally humiliating, and not in a good way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx asked him first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> seem to be fucking an awful lot now. In the beginning, it had just been the occasional, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m horny and I’m pretty sure you are too, let’s help each other out</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but now it was sought. And often after this sex they ended up… holding each other? Chit-chatting? Whereas in the beginning, they’d just quickly gotten dressed and gone their separate ways. All Ienzo knew that was when he was with Demyx the pressure and anxiety he felt so often was nearly gone. It was an arrangement that worked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After one such encounter, he lay with his head on Demyx’s chest on the floor of the study where they’d fucked. Demyx was stroking his hair, and the sun was on his skin, and it all felt so </span>
  <em>
    <span>nice.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “...So,” Demyx said, after a rather long silence. “Did you ever… look into that thing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flushed. “You’ll have to be more specific,” he said. “I research a great many things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You… being into control.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tactful, using that word instead of the obvious. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Piss. You’re into piss, you disgusting troglodyte. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Well…” Ienzo hesitated. He could very well lie and feel no guilt about it whatsoever. “Yes.” His heart was beating fast. “I… did look into it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...And?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My suspicions were… confirmed.” Like opening Pandora’s box. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Cool, cool.” He sounded like he didn’t care. Ienzo looked up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t find it… disturbing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx frowned. “No. I told you that.” Ienzo sat up slowly. Demyx reached over to touch his cheek, a strangely intimate gesture, one that unnerved Ienzo in a new way despite the fact that not too long ago he had quite literally been inside of Demyx. “Would you want to… explore that with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With--you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would that make you uncomfortable?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo’s face burned. He took a deep breath. “You’d want that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to make you feel good, so, sure. I’ll try anything once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He found it hard to look him in the eye. He’d… </span>
  <em>
    <span>fantasized,</span>
  </em>
  <span> about feeling such things with him, but hadn’t thought he could act on them. Despite himself, and the fact that he’d already gotten off today, his cock stirred a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you ashamed?” Demyx asked gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not ashamed,” he said, a little too quickly. Then he sighed. “That’s not true. I… am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The shame? I know that. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> be ashamed, I--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx kissed his shoulder. “It’s okay to want to explore yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if… it comes from how little agency we had as Nobodies,” he admitted. “The… need to urinate is one of the easiest things to control, one of the first things we </span>
  <em>
    <span>learn</span>
  </em>
  <span> to control. Subverting that… is kind of getting to control myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe. Or maybe it’s not that deep.” Demyx shrugged. “Maybe it just feels good.” He kissed Ienzo softly. “So would you want to?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” He forced the word out, despite the wave of anxiety it gave him. “Very much so. But how--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We take it easy. Take it slow. Do you trust me with this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallowed. “I want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled. “Let me handle it, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He scoffed a little. “Is this all an attempt to simply dominate me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I really wanted to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I could’ve asked you already.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose that is true.” Ienzo trembled a little. “Alright. You handle it. Me.” Oddly freeing, to let that go. He hadn’t fully allowed himself to trust </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> since…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could not recall. Lexeaus, maybe? But that was about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. The first thing is that you need to pick a safeword. In case it ever gets to be too much for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...A safeword.” He’d read pornography, he knew the gist, and yet suddenly Ienzo felt so naive. He wondered how many other people Demyx had done things with. “... “Secret.””</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For now. I don’t want it anything obvious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Alright.” He smirked and chucked him under the chin, and if they had not just fucked, Ienzo would bend him back over the table then and there just for that look. “Secret.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Ienzo waited. The flush of anticipation was hot and delicious, making him almost not so self-conscious about the whole thing. They had several very normal encounters. One day, Ienzo was working as usual when he received a text.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Working hard or hardly working? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Uncharacteristically with proper grammar and punctuation, unlike Demyx, which was what tipped him off. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Can you find some time later?</span>
  </em>
</p><p><span>He glanced up quickly at Even, working near him with an intense focus, muttering something about how he’d rather be doing anything other than combing through </span><em><span>yet more stupid data.</span></em> <em><span>I can,</span></em><span> Ienzo wrote back simply. </span></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>By four or five?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Probably more like five. Even’s being a pain in the ass, and Ansem isn’t here to help us.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Five is better, actually. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ienzo watched the floating dots as he typed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Until then, don’t use the bathroom. And make sure to keep yourself plenty hydrated. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart stuttered a little, and he found himself glad he was sitting, as suddenly he was hardening in his pants. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Where should I meet you?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t worry, I’ll pick you up. Use the word if you have to. I know he’ll bother you a ton.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But Ienzo did not intend to be a coward right out of the gate. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll see you then.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The anticipation made him sweat. He hadn’t used the restroom in several hours, and was feeling it to a degree. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>manageable</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and relatively easy to ignore. There were still some hours left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he set to work. He drank whatever tea he was offered, water, too, to combat the heat of the room, though he was sweating for more than one reason. “You should take a break, Ienzo,” Even said, startling him. “You’ve been sitting still for quite some time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shifted. “I’m alright.” He could feel the fullness more intensely now; ordinarily he would have excused himself long ago. It was pleasant, but pushing off the thoughts of relief was getting harder, and he made several silly mistakes that needed to be corrected by hand. Time seemed to slow down, but he wasn’t yet in </span>
  <em>
    <span>pain</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A text. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How are you feeling?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A flush of arousal. It helped take the edge off. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It is quite manageable, but I suspect will become more difficult.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thirsty?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know how to respond. The thought of drinking </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> made him shudder. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Got to stay hydrated. </span>
  </em>
  <span>With a wink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, and forced himself to quickly chug some water. This whole elaborate scenario was for him, he reminded himself. He could change his mind at any time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are single minded to the point of oblivion, child,” Even added, with a shake of his head. “I have some things to wrap up in my labs. Don’t stay too much longer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo was pleased to see him go; as the hour of four wore on, the desperation was only intensifying, and it was difficult to keep his composure. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted this</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he reminded himself, feeling wave after wave of pressure. Crossing his legs was no longer helping much, if at all, and he fantasized briefly about what it would feel like to let go right here. But there was too much wiring, and besides, he should wait. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It got to the point where he could no longer focus at all, more and more energy getting pulled to </span>
  <em>
    <span>need to pee need to pee</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He shuddered and took a breath, goosebumps raising on his arms. There it was again, that almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>sweet</span>
  </em>
  <span> sensation of torture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(A gentle burn of shame and self-loathing.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...All done for the day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx startled him, and he had to fight hard against the leak. “...Quite.” He stood shakily, his bladder protesting against the movement. He did not have to fight to remain composed in front of Demyx, but he couldn’t help it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx smirked. “You look pretty put-together. We should do something about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A shimmer. “Yes.” He barely held back the </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx took his hand. It was hard to walk, feeling the movement of his overfull body. “Is it bad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s very bad,” he admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I can handle it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took Ienzo to a place in the castle he hardly ever went to; of all the places, an abandoned launderette. He thought he could smell cleaning products. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He cleaned for me,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ienzo thought, impressed. “Why here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s off of Dilan and Aeleus’s round schedules. And there’s… that.” He gestured to the industrial sink, the drain in the floor. He’d set a mat, some blankets and pillows on the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He wanted me to feel safe and comfortable,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ienzo thought, feeling another shudder that had nothing to do with how badly he needed a piss. “A dungeon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A laundry room.” He laughed a little, then his expression became serious. “Though I guess it could be anything you want it to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...So what now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t answer, not with words. He crossed over behind Ienzo and began to kiss his neck, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>slowly</span>
  </em>
  <span>, unbuttoning Ienzo’s lab coat, untying the ascot from around his neck. He wrapped his arms around him, running a gentle hand down his chest and bladder, and even that slight, light touch made Ienzo gasp out loud, his cock hardening almost instantly. Demyx pulled his sweater over his head, started working at his shirt. Slowly. Slowly. Ienzo could not help but squirm a little. “In a hurry?” Demyx asked with a purr.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. Not at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was there something you needed?” He ran his hand so </span>
  <em>
    <span>gently</span>
  </em>
  <span> across Ienzo’s stomach again. Then, more neutrally, “you don’t have to do the talk if you don’t want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...I think I’m still a little too self-conscious for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Just feel, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo nodded. Demyx kissed at his shoulder, down his arm, then reached to unbutton his pants. The feel of him, his lips, was so much stronger than his fantasy, and he gasped. Demyx felt at his cock through his underwear and stroked it slowly. It eased the intensity of the desperation just a touch. He slipped the pants off of Ienzo, and suddenly he was naked in this odd room. Demyx kept stroking him, again so </span>
  <em>
    <span>leisurely</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He moaned. Demyx pressed against him, and Ienzo thought he could feel his own dick. “Will you… also be naked?” he forced through his teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let go of him, and Ienzo heard the rustle of fabric and zipper. Without the touch, the full brunt of his need broke over him. Harder to wet himself while aroused, but not impossible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx returned to him. Feeling his skin pressed against Ienzo, his cock indeed hard against his ass, made him weak. “Do you want to lay down?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did so, leaning against the mat, the fullness just hitching worse. His face burned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx crouched over him and kissed him. Ienzo </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> so much right then, in that moment, the need to come and the need to piss blotting out almost everything else. “Could I go down on you?” Demyx asked softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Yes, please.” He sounded breathy, an absolute mess. This should’ve been embarrassing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So polite.” Demyx began to kiss his throat again, working down him with that same maddening slowness, and Ienzo was squirming pretty much involuntarily now. His heartbeat was loud in his ears, but he didn’t think he’d ever been so turned on in his entire life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx pressed his lips against his inner thigh. “I… I don’t think I’ll last long,” he forced between gasps, and moaned a little louder when he felt his mouth close over it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx was good at this even in non-desperate scenarios; Ienzo had been so shocked by it when it first happened he’d come in under a minute. (Then again, his stamina then had been pretty abysmal.) Feeling him work over Ienzo in earnest, the so sweet </span>
  <em>
    <span>ache</span>
  </em>
  <span> of his bladder, the soft touch caused the tension to build in him, and build, and his back arched a little against the mat. Demyx flicked his tongue along the shaft, and another noise left him. “I shouldn’t… finish in you,” he said. He was dizzy, everything so </span>
  <em>
    <span>raw</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “I’ll probably--</span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Demyx bobbed against him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>deepthroating </span>
  </em>
  <span>him, and he shivered, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>close</span>
  </em>
  <span> to giving in--it would feel so </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span>, to just completely let go, to </span>
  <em>
    <span>trust</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, and by then the need was so prominent--he could no longer tell which was stronger. Perhaps at this point they were the same. “I--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx took it out of his mouth and back into his hand, returning to Ienzo’s level and kissing his cheek, his forehead, before finally returning to his lips. Only a few seconds later, Ienzo could no longer fight it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was by far the most intense orgasm he’d ever had; and the only time he’d been completely unaware of his surroundings, unaware, even, of who he was. He heard himself make a genuine </span>
  <em>
    <span>cry</span>
  </em>
  <span>, arching against Demyx, a pleasure so strong it was unfair blunting everything, and he was so relaxed he thought he might faint. “Let go,” Demyx said softly. “Just let go. It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t even nod in response. He’d had to pee so badly it actually took a moment before it started, warm under him, between them. Conscious thought not yet reestablished, just the barest snatches of things, like the way Demyx was stroking his hair and whispering to him, and the gentle, steadily growing </span>
  <em>
    <span>relief</span>
  </em>
  <span> as he continued to let go. It was like a drug, sweeping over him sweetly, and it seemed to take a long time before it ended.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was suddenly exhausted. He couldn't do much more than try to catch his breath. "How do you feel?" He heard Demyx ask.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I feel…" Strangely teary. Raw. Alive. "Amazing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Catch your breath. That was a lot."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Through the curtain of his hair he could barely see Demyx stroking himself. "Let me--"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want to. It'll… help ground me." Ienzo shifted onto his side and took Demyx's cock into his hand. He was hard as a rock. Demyx exhaled heavily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That was so hot," he admitted breathily. "Just watching you do it… I almost came right then."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was already straining against Ienzo's hand, so he pulled Demyx into a kiss, trying not to focus on the fact that they were both wet with more than sweat. Demyx moaned softly, and Ienzo felt it against his  hand. This handled, he was so tired he could barely move. Demyx got up and crossed over to the sink--</span>
  <em>
    <span>to wash his hands, I'm so gross--</span>
  </em>
  <span>but he just brought back a bottle of water. "Here. You should flush yourself out. You held on for a long time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I… suppose…" He thought he'd never want to see fluid again, but he was thirsty. "You… didn't mind all this?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed a little. "That was probably the most fun I've ever had doing anything sexy. I don't know. I think I might be more into it than I thought. You've </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>made a noise like that before."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Perhaps soon it will be the other way around." He tried to sit up, but he felt weak. "Oh…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Little too intense?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...I think." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx drew him close. And while all the evidence pointed to the otherwise, Ienzo had never felt so… </span>
  <em>
    <span>clean.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sometimes kink can have consequences.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know, I know, ya'll came here for the kink, and ended up in my carefic instead. Though I'm pretty sure the next chapter (also posted today) will more than make up for that ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Ienzo was exhausted. He wasn’t quite sure why; he’d slept well last night, mostly because he and Demyx had spent a wonderful afternoon together in their room. It was no less intense as it had been that first time, though now he recovered more quickly. His back ached; he'd probably pulled something. And Kingdom Hearts, was it hot in here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo slid off the heavy lab coat. Dead of summer, and they all still wore the same stuffy uniforms. He had no idea </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> they clung to the uniforms, and if he showed up randomly in casual clothing he doubted anyone would care. He dabbed at the sweat on his forehead. He’d also felt nausea, thick and cloying, so he was wondering if he might have the beginnings of food poisoning. Demyx </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> so love to take him to eat at questionable places.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed the restroom. He was getting better at delineating between holding for kink and holding for real life, making the arousal when he felt full easier to control. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe this is helpful</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought wearily. Slowly he stood, and despite the fact that he was not truly desperate, he felt a trickle down his leg, panic tightening around his throat because he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>most definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> not alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ienzo? Are you alright?” Even asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m very warm,” he mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it’s hotter than blazes in here. I keep hounding Dilan to take care of the air conditioning, but he’s waiting on a part. If only I had some semblance of my power. Take a break, if you need. It’s much cooler in the passages.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt a pang of pain in his back and winced, tasting nausea on his tongue. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> ill, then. He didn’t know which would be worse--vomiting or pissing himself in front of Even--but realized the longer he stood there thinking about it, the less he had a choice. He felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>faint</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he was still having trouble holding it despite the fact that he didn’t really </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could feel Even watching him, which was worse. “You’re positively green,” he said. Becoming human seemed to have triggered the man’s latent paternal instinct, one that had been long dead as Vexen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Panic made him dizzy. Another pang of pain made him lose more urine, and he feared it was visible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even came over and pressed two cool fingers against Ienzo’s forehead. “You’ve got quite a fever,” he said. “You did not </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to come down here if you were feeling ill--Ienzo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Droplets pattered faintly against the metal. This was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay, but he observed dazedly that at least he wasn’t getting off to it this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even looked down. “Oh,” he said, his tone hard to read. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> this is happening,” Ienzo admitted. “I didn’t really need to but I can’t hold--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re sick, child. It happens.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew this wasn’t what Even meant, but he thought, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>am</span>
  <em>
    <span> sick, alright. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He stumbled away from the computer, trying not to make a mess </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He couldn’t catch his breath. The pain was almost worse than the humiliation. As a </span>
  <em>
    <span>child</span>
  </em>
  <span> he had not wet himself in front of Even, and here he was, and it wasn’t even some scene gone awry. Ienzo felt tears in his eyes as he continued to pee. There was no relief tied to the action, just a dreadful self-consciousness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ienzo. It’s okay. What else is it you feel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so… dizzy. Nauseous.” Ienzo could not look him in the eye. “And I feel such… pain, right here.” Gesturing vaguely to the spot on his back. The pieces clicked weakly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even put a hand on the spot, and Ienzo felt another shimmer of pain. “Here? Right here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought I had pulled something, but I guess…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I know </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> you could not control yourself.” He sighed. “Kidney infection. Straightforward, but easy to fix.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...I’m humiliated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ienzo, who will I tell?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never even did this in front of you as a child--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even brushed a strand of sweaty hair from his face. “This happens, Ienzo. It does. You had no power over it. Come. We must get you cleaned up and to bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a haze, he took a shower. He suspected he might be a little delirious. Even helped him get into bed. Ienzo felt a pinprick of pain and saw he was starting an IV. “Why are you--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re that far gone, intravenous antibiotics will be better, and help the symptoms faster. You need fluids.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did this happen?” He felt so weak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Probably your rather concerning habit of holding your urine for hours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flushed. He’d noticed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, we </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> find human needs an inconvenience, but not tending to them causes </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> to happen. Or it could be a fluke. Either way, right now you </span>
  <em>
    <span>mustn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> hold. ...Flush yourself out. As it were.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx had told him as much after their scenes, especially if they went on for a long time. Sometimes, Ienzo listened, but not always. He exhaled. He’d done this to himself. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, child. Though I admit it’s strange to be caring for you again. Get some rest. I’ll check on you in a few hours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo drifted in and out of sleep for a time, never quite getting all the way there, odd dreams making him unsure what was real and what wasn’t. He was Zexion again, and he was in the labyrinthine corridors of Castle Oblivion. He was lost, and he was dying for a piss, and the blank white rooms he found did not yield somewhere he could. It was an itchy, aching feeling of panic, imagining returning </span>
  <em>
    <span>wet</span>
  </em>
  <span> to Lexeaus or Vexen or god forbid Marluxia or Larxene. He had </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> earned Xemnas’s respect after not being taken seriously for years due to his age. Wetting himself might have meant certain death.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Why not use dark corridors? Why not just will it away? As a Nobody, two things he could do.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Ienzo was feverish, and human, and dreams hardly ever made sense </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyway</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so he continued desperately for a time, until it was dark, and he was backed into a corner, not quite caring who or what saw him take it out, and there was Axel, and the Riku replica, and a single bladed glove squeezing his throat--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He jolted awake and knew instantly what had happened. The trauma of the memory must’ve done it. He’d wet himself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not just his clothing or person but the bed. He thought he might still feel the replica’s hand along his skin, making it hard to breathe, and he was sobbing disjointedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh--child--what happened?” Even again. “Fever dreams can be quite punishing, I know.” Ienzo felt him perch on the edge of the bed. He started stroking Ienzo’s hair. “It’s alright. Cry it out. You are safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The wetness of sheets was uncomfortable. “I was in… Castle Oblivion, and I--” His hand snapped to his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, um.” He swallowed; it hurt. “It happened again. The memory… scared me before I could wake up.” Hard to see his face in the semidarkness. “I’m so pathetic--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are ill and you recalled something traumatic. Surely you could not </span>
  <em>
    <span>help</span>
  </em>
  <span> that. Do you feel well enough to get up? You’re still quite warm, perhaps a cool shower will make you feel better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hazily, Ienzo did so. By the time he returned Even had changed the sheets. He eased onto his side, his back still aching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m worried about you,” Even murmured. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo drifted again…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… he wasn’t responding to my texts, so I thought--I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ienzo is very ill. He doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be bothered by the likes of you right now--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo’s eyes fluttered. “Demyx?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hand taking his. “Yeah, Zo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t… feel well…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get some sleep.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slept long and hard, and when he woke he was relieved to discovered he hadn’t wet himself a third time. He was able to make it to the bathroom, splash some water on his face. He still felt shaky, nauseous. The pull of the IV was irritating, but the pain in his back was not quite so intense, so it must’ve been effective. He crawled back into bed and noticed two things had been left at his bedside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A glass jar with a few purple hydrangea blooms, a book, and a note. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Aerith gave me these as a thank you for the work, so I thought they might make you feel better. --Demyx</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>That, and the book was the first in his favorite childhood series, which he had mentioned to him offhandedly maybe once. Ienzo felt tears prick in his eyes, mostly from realization.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was not something a fuck buddy would do, but rather a partner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door cracked open, and there he was. “How are you feeling?” Demyx asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little better. Thank you for the flowers. I just saw them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo swore he saw him blush. “They’re a regift.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The book wasn’t. You still thought of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...I overheard Even talking to Ansem about how sick you were. I was worried. Can I sit with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Please.” He took his shoes off and climbed gently into Ienzo’s bed, spooning him. Ienzo realized they had never actually done anything on a bed. “This is… nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx kissed his throat. Why was it he didn’t feel nervous when Demyx touched his scar, even with his hands?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose you’ll find this ironic,” Ienzo began softly. His smell was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> comforting. “I pissed myself. Twice. I didn’t like it at all. In front of Even, too. It was awful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cause you didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>choose</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do it, duh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… didn’t always listen to you after the scenes. About the water. I think that’s part of why I’m in this predicament. I feel helpless.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More kisses. “You’re just sick. It’ll be fine. Though from now on you’ll have to be careful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that an order?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Yes, it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed a little. “Thank you for caring.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. I… care about you a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo turned slightly. “In the beginning I wasn’t sure what this was. Though I suppose there’s no denying it anymore, is there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Is that a roundabout way of asking me to be your boyfriend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seems to be, yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx kissed him once on the lips. He sighed happily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Demyx?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you hold me until I fall asleep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d love to.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Ienzo's turn to take control of Demyx.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After that whole incident, Ienzo tried to be more careful, and take better care of himself, especially after a scene. Embarrassing--or just weird?--that </span>
  <em>
    <span>kink</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all things finally got him more in tune with his human self’s needs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just means it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> helping you,” Demyx said, with a shrug. So </span>
  <em>
    <span>odd</span>
  </em>
  <span>, to spend nonsexual time together, to be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>couple</span>
  </em>
  <span>. They were keeping it under wraps, as they struggled to come to terms with their dynamic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Ienzo </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> like it. Holding hands. Going for long walks. Talking about nothing much. Their relationship had happened in inverse--explicit, kinky sex before normal chaste romance--but at least it had happened. “Is there… something that could help </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx suddenly became preoccupied with the wall behind Ienzo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me, Demyx. You’ve seen me piss myself goodness knows how many times. You’ve got blackmail material.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged. “Is it bad to say I honestly don’t know? Whenever I’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>been</span>
  </em>
  <span> with someone, it’s always been about them, and that… does the trick. Usually. There were never… feelings. It was never about me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are there things you want to try?” He imagined Demyx ceding to him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>trusting</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, and honestly it turned him on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blushed. “Wow, this… </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> hard, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re not ready to tell me…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His knee was jiggling a little. “I want to… try it with you outside, and I kind of want to do it in the water,” he admitted, speaking quickly, as though to get it over with. “But I also… kind of want to try the pee thing. You seem to… like it a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me controlling you?” Ienzo smiled. His cock twitched. “Oh, I think I’d enjoy that very much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was still blushing. “That’s good.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>It actually felt a little odd, to deliberately plan such a thing. Demyx’s work was different than his, less sedentary--he worked odd jobs around town which were sometimes pretty strenuous--and often a simple “just hold it” wouldn’t work. They’d have to set aside time. They’d have to plan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Given that he’d feared that part of his mind was atrophied, Ienzo was more than happy to oblige.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a midsummer's festival in town, and after helping the restoration committee set up, Demyx was free. They would see the sites, enjoy games, and the many seasonal drinks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"God, it's hot," Demyx said, leaning in to kiss Ienzo once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sure you've been hard at work." He smirked. "Might we get a drink?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Honestly, I need one. Leon was a pain in the ass." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They grabbed cocktails at one of the stands. The plaza was set up with rolling color, the heady smells of fried food and cooking charcoal drifting over them, the sound of chatter and music, vendors and games. Radiant Garden felt… alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Remember your word," Ienzo said in a low voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...Of course."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Enjoy yourself. Though… it is rather warm, and you've been working hard. You should stay hydrated." He smiled sweetly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They made their way through the afternoon. Ienzo made sure to pace it well; he didn't want Demyx to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>painfully</span>
  </em>
  <span> uncomfortable. Just enough to squirm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it was hard to crack that veneer. Three or four pints in, he seemed just as normal as ever, and Ienzo was feeling it himself, though it was pleasantly bearable. "More?" Ienzo offered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...I guess I'm better at this than I thought." But another pint later, Ienzo thought he saw him sweating, and his heart started to race. "...Oh," Demyx said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was dancing out in the square; if this didn't show anything, Ienzo'd push him more. But it had to be catching up to him. "Dance with me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx swept him into it. The steps were quick, spirited; perfect. "...You're not bad at this," Demyx remarked, spinning him out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...I was a prince," Ienzo added. "Etiquette… traditional steps… were part of my education."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...A prince, huh?" The crowd moved smoothly around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Surely you knew?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I knew, but I didn't… know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...I'm not a prince anymore. Ansem desires no nobility with this small population. And I agree." The next time he landed in Demyx's arms, he purposefully collided hard against him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not fair," he hissed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So you do feel something."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have for hours." The last word was almost a whine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I can barely tell."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I had a reputation of being lazy, Ienzo, I'm good at holding it." Ienzo could see the tension in his jaw more now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...What do you think about it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few beats. One dance ended, another began. "...I kind of like it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good." Ienzo kissed him. "Because I'm not finished with you yet." He took his hand and led him away from the festival. If what he knew about the human body, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>timing</span>
  </em>
  <span>, was correct, then all that movement should've--Demyx's eyes flashed a little. He smirked, a flush of arousal creeping through him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That… made it worse," Demyx said. “A lot worse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you need help?" He offered, with a purr. The path eddied out into the castle's garden. It was nearing sunset. They were completely alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, not…" He stooped over briefly; it almost looked as though he were catching his breath. "...Maybe a little."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His cock twitched. He brought a finger under Demyx's chin. He was breathing a bit hard. He leaned up and kissed Demyx, tasting the sweetness of their last drinks, pulling him close. Ienzo heard him breathe a small moan. He broke the kiss off, took his hand, and brought him deeper into the gardens, to a small divot in the land that was completely isolated from everything else, gates and hedges on either side, the slope of a hill on a third. "The public cannot get through here," Ienzo murmured, running a finger down along Demyx's chest, feeling the shudder when it crossed his bladder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck," he muttered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I really have to fucking piss."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt himself begin to harden. "That so?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do I… do?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> me to do?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He considered. He squirmed a little, just turning Ienzo on father. He was glad he'd worn somewhat loose pants. "Whatever you want. I-I don't…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo flicked his eyes down; he thought he saw that Demyx was hard too. Ienzo drew him close and kissed him, slipping his tongue into his mouth. Demyx's hands pulled through his hair. Ienzo felt him trembling. He eased Demyx onto the sloped ground and straddled him, hearing something like a squeak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...Shit…" The color was high in his cheeks. "I-I just--"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo pulled away from the skin he was kissing. He thought he saw a few drops on his jeans in the semidarkness. "Losing it so soon?" He asked, his own dick twitching almost violently. "I thought you could do better than this." He pulled him back into a kiss and ground against him, heady and slow, and heard Demyx moan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't stop."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo kept at it. His own excitement was rising. Seeing Demyx at the verge of falling apart entirely when he'd always managed their scenes was just making him shake. Ienzo reached down and undid Demyx's fly, taking his dick out and stroking it once. Demyx's head lolled back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"God. God." He was breathing so </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautifully.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo slipped out his own dick and ground against him, hearing a sound that can only be defined as a </span>
  <em>
    <span>mewl.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can't.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can," Ienzo purred. "I know you can. You've done so well all day." The flashburn of need was slow and deep, and he kept moving steadily, though he wanted nothing more to work both their cocks and finish all over him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyyx was taking these quick shuddery breaths, and there was a far away fuzziness in his eyes Ienzo had never seen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I really can't."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wondered if Demyx would safeword. But he only tightened his grip on Ienzo and pressed against him. Ienzo kissed his throat, feeling the flutter of his pulse, Demyx's cock throbbing once against his. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>close.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ienzo felt another flush of pleasure. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And so am I</span>
  </em>
  <span>. "You're so beautiful like this," Ienzo told him, kissing him deeply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moaned again, jutting his hips harder against Ienzo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want me to help you?" He asked. "Help you let go?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please, please…" A quivering mess. His own eyes rolled a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo took Demyx's dick into his hand. It was slick with pre, and he suspected something else. He stroked him slowly, feeling his whole body jerk, and tense, before finally he let out this beautiful moan, and Ienzo felt the cum across his fingers, his own heart beating so </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh," Demyx said dazedly. "Fuck." He squirmed a little against his grip. "I--really need to--"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do it right here. I want to feel it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he seemed so exhausted, so sated, he did, warmth spilling across Ienzo's hand and pooling between them, the heaviness of wet fabric. The tip of Ienzo's cock was </span>
  <em>
    <span>aching</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he felt his own head roll back. He began to knead at himself, sure he was only a few strokes from--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt Demyx's trembling hand along him, brushing away his own, working him, and feeling him continuing to piss as it happened forced him over the edge. It quite literally took his breath away, making Ienzo dizzy, a hot and heady sensation that causes him to sway and have to catch himself against Demyx. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you okay?" He asked, as soon as he was able to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx seemed dazed. "Yeah," he said softly. "I'm kind of… weak, I feel… tired."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It is tiring." He kissed him on the forehead. "Did you like it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't think I've ever come so hard in my life." He was trembling. "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck,</span>
  </em>
  <span> I had to piss. Past hour or so was fucking torture." A wistful sigh. "I </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked </span>
  </em>
  <span>you… dominating me." A swallow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Something we have in common." He kissed him. "We can do it again."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...It hurts a little now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You need water and rest."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. He had to be tender with Demyx now. He was so vulnerable, still in that beautifully raw moment. Ienzo climbed off of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let's go back to my room," he said. "Shower. I left some clean clothes for you there."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx nodded wearily. "...Well. I guess I learned </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>about myself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo smiled.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ienzo learns there's a reason for safewords.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The bathwater was warm, pleasant against his raw skin. Ienzo felt somewhat lightheaded and definitely empty-headed, the anxiety on pause. He heard footsteps and looked up, wearily. Demyx handed him a glass of juice. “You need the electrolytes,” he said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> nice to hear you speak so technically.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed his forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I fear I may be becoming a hedonist,” Ienzo said, with a sigh. He sipped at it; the sweetness was much needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God forbid if you enjoy something.” He took off his boxers and started the shower, which was separate from the tub. “Do you mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Drinks </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> a show? My lucky day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Huh. Hardly. I’m so sweaty.” The shower doors muffled his voice a little. He scrubbed at his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are so beautiful.” The words left him without permission.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Says the guy who just came. Pillow talk Ienzo, back in action.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gave him a watery smile. He turned to rinse off his chest, and Ienzo saw it. As always, it gave him a jolt of concern he could physically feel in his body. A direct, jagged scar down most of his back. He remembered the first time Demyx let him fuck him from behind, which was also the first time he’d really seen it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their Nobodies all had to die somehow, after all. He touched his own scar warily. He was always conscious of it, sometimes more than others. But the memories were a little more insidious. Breaking his delicious haze, he thought of a time several weeks back…</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>It was warm in their room today, summer heat through the small window making the space more humid. Ienzo could smell the cleaning products from the last time one of them cleaned, could smell Demyx’s sweat. The latter of these things was more pleasant, so Ienzo kissed at his shoulder, drinking it in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The heat had also quite literally had him </span>
  <em>
    <span>drinking.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>To his chagrin, this kink had markedly improved his capacity. Getting to that point of delicious fullness took more time, and rather than just taking Demyx’s orders as to when he was to hold and for how long, he’d started to… tamper with the timing. He knew this was a bad habit to get into--the kidney infection had told him that--but he wasn’t sure quite how else to achieve it. Maybe something worth researching?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx pressed him against the mat a bit more insistently. The sudden movement made him shudder, the swell of desperation making his cock even harder. He regretted his last glass of lemon water, taken surreptitiously after the last order. He liked being desperate, but he didn’t like being so desperate he was in pain. It was a fine balance to strike. Having his legs propped against Demyx’s hips like this only made him aware of how badly he needed to piss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel?” Demyx asked. He was breathing hard. “I want to fuck you when you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>full</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes this was like playing with fire. “I’m there. I’ve been there for quite some time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed him roughly. Ienzo had stopped caring about the psychological reasons behind all this, he realized. It was raw, almost animal. Demyx fumbled for the lube. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cleaning</span>
  </em>
  <span> himself when he’d really needed to piss had provided its own interesting challenges. Demyx fingered him almost mercilessly, running his tongue along his collarbone, and Ienzo moaned out loud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take me. Please.” He also felt less embarrassment about begging, mostly because he knew how </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> it felt to hear it. Demyx seemed to get more pleasure from Ienzo’s desperation than his own, but when Ienzo asked, he was willing. In the dim light, he just barely saw Demyx lubing himself, and he squirmed when he felt the tip against him, teasing. He moaned again when he felt it slide into him, jostling his bladder </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> slightly. Ienzo pulled him into a kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes they took things slowly, but it didn’t seem like today was one of those days. “I want to be rough with you.” Demyx would phrase things like this, a sort of question in a statement. Seeking consent without all of the potentially awkward and mood-killing “can I”s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want that. I want that very much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started fucking Ienzo harder, his cock slamming against his g-spot punishingly, the rocking of his bladder just making him tremble. Ienzo’s own dick throbbed, all of it this very delicious and vulnerable </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the lovely thoughtlessness coming over him again. He was so focused on their breath, the small sounds they were both making, how good it would feel to let go on him--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so good, Zo, so good,” Demyx murmured against his shoulder. Ienzo kissed him roughly, shoving his tongue into his mouth, and Demyx responded eagerly. He was moving quicker now. Ienzo twitched a little, anticipation making him dizzy-- Demyx broke off the kiss and licked gently at the scar on his throat. “Let’s start with you, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the phrasing opened something dark in him, and suddenly he was not being fucked so beautifully by his boyfriend, but rather he was in a corner in a dark room and with a puppet and a sadist and </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s as good a place to start as any</span>
  </em>
  <span> and the panic rushed over him bright and strong and-- “Secret. Secret.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx jerked in surprise and pulled out of him. Ienzo forced himself to his knees, too desperate to curl into a ball as he wanted, panic making it hard to breathe. Piss ran between his thighs, coldly drawn from the fear, and he couldn’t stop shaking-- He pressed a hand to his mouth. “What’s wrong?” Demyx asked him softly. “What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He struggled to catch his breath. There was no way Demyx had known what the Riku replica had said to him before he killed Zexion; it was all a horrible coincidence. But Ienzo could not verbalize that, so instead he just sobbed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I hurt you?” Demyx asked. “Do you need space?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo shook his head in response. He was still peeing, but the relief was not beautiful or sweet as he’d wanted all day. It just made him feel animal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I touch you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo sagged into his open arms. He knew he’d likely just blueballed him, and the guilt just worsened his panic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay. You’re safe. You’re safe here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo gripped at his shoulders, trying to find some semblance of comfort to drag him out of drowning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Deep breaths. Just focus on breathing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried. He tried to sync his breath with Demyx’s, pressing his face against his chest to hear his heartbeat. That, and the smell of him--sweat and sex and the scent that was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span>--finally helped the panic ebb from its peak, until finally he was just an exhausted husk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo swiped at his eyes and looked up. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened there? You’ve never safeworded before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was nothing you did.” His voice sounded raw and shaky. “The… phrase you used. “Let’s start with you.” It’s… fairly close to the last thing I heard before the Riku replica killed me.” He wished he were not admitting this naked and covered in piss. “Combined with… the scar kissing…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...You were triggered. Oh, Ienzo, I’m so sorry--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You couldn’t have known,” he said wearily. “I get so… vulnerable when we’re in moments like this. It was only a matter of time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still feel terrible.” He touched Ienzo’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> should feel terrible. You were close. That had to have hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wouldn’t let Ienzo deflect. “You feeling safe is more important than me coming.” His teal eyes were serious. He kissed Ienzo’s brow. Demyx got up and grabbed a towel so Ienzo could dry himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel very safe with you,” Ienzo admitted. “Perhaps that’s… </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> I remembered.” He was shaking all over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t touch it again in a scene. I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallowed a lump in his throat. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t I take you back to your room? Have a nice bath?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” The tears burned his eyes. “Yes.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“...What’s wrong? You have a weird look on your face.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing’s… wrong, per se,” he said slowly. “I was thinking about… scars.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped drying his hair. Demyx’s smile was small and sad. “Comes with the territory.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But if not for all that… you and I wouldn’t be here now.” He felt it suddenly, deep into the pit of his being, with utter certainty. “Demyx?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He crossed over to him. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His expression was hard to read; it looked like he’d been struck. Ienzo wondered if he’d said the wrong thing. But then he softened, and he reached down to hug Ienzo in the bathwater. Kissed him. “I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh… good.” He swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat. “Very good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let go of him and dried off again. “Now finish your juice.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Accidents can still happen.</p><p>This chapter is firmly NOT dubcon, but does feature mild alcohol use.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so happy and thankful for the positive response this story has received! Thank you so much to everyone who has read. </p><p>That being said, I would really appreciate any prompts tossed my way, I'd hate for anything to seem repetitive :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The bar was warm and full of bodies. Ienzo considered his empty glass, the curious heaviness he felt, the world slightly off-kilter, but he did not feel out of control. They’d come for the open mic night--Demyx had been the best of the performers, unanimously so--but they stayed for the free drinks that were his “prize.” Ienzo had never been more than mildly tipsy off of some wine, so he’d been curious as to the sensation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That felt great for my ego,” Demyx admitted, returning with two more pints of the cider that was this bar’s specialty. “Gotta say. Feels good to be called a musician again instead of Mr. Fix-It.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo sipped. He had to pee, he realized, but he did not feel like fighting through the crowd to the one small restroom at the back of the bar. “You should. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>obliterated</span>
  </em>
  <span> them. It was unfair to watch, actually.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. “How does it feel to date a prodigy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. You tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I always knew you were good,” he said honestly. “Though I’m sure it was reassuring to hear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx sat down across from him at the small table. Ienzo found himself focused on the bubbles in his drink in the warm light. It was pretty, but not so pretty he could stop himself from drinking it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A waitperson came up with a tray. “Lady over there bought you these,” she said, plunking two shots onto the table. She spirited their empty glasses away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like you have fans,” Ienzo said. “Should I be glad they’re not throwing their panties at you?” But he offered a smile. He was secure enough in their relationship not to be jealous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh. Only dirty underwear I want thrown at me are yours.” He offered Ienzo one of the shots. “Cheers?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo tipped it down like he’d done this before, feeling a burn that made him cough. Demyx laughed at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t surprise me you’ve never been drunk before, Mr. Goody-goody,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To be fair--I’ve tried to have drinks since I’ve been human, but everyone looks at me </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> judgmentally.” His need to pee was worsening; the alcohol and the volume catching up to him. He glanced over his shoulder again, at the line, and sighed. “Which takes away any pleasure I would gain from drunkenness.” His knee jiggled against the bar-stool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m… fine.” The shot was adding a strange veneer to everything, his words oddly divorced from his body. Ienzo turned back to his cider. He should know that drinking more would only make the desperation worse, but it was hot, and he was thirsty, and it was hard to turn down more of this lovely feeling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get you some water,” Demyx said. “You’ve been pounding it back. Trust me, you do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to be hungover in summer. Yuck.” He disappeared back over to the bar. Ienzo considered his definitely-empty glass, and his definitely-full bladder. He squirmed a little. He did not like being desperate in public. But he could--and had--held more for longer. It just meant the relief would be that much more potent when he finally could--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good thing I went up there. It’s final call.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Already?” Ienzo looked at his watch; it had somehow become three in the morning. “...Goodness.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they’re gonna start kicking people out soon. Wanna head out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He considered the bathroom line one more time. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> a rather long walk back, but at the same time, he didn’t want to deal with this hot and doubtless gross toilet. He thought about this even as he finished his water. “Yes, we should, shouldn’t we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood and felt the knot that was his bladder tighten substantially, the alcohol making him stumble a little. Demyx snorted. “Yeah, we should get you home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you drunk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Consider--I can be trashed and take care of you at the same time.” He snuck another kiss. Ienzo kissed him back, a rush of desire making him dizzy--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A wolf whistle startled him, almost making him leak a little. “Alright, you two, it’s late, go get a room somewhere else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx laughed. “He’s got a point. Why don’t we go home and… take care of that?” He grasped Ienzo’s hand and  tugged him through the crowd, each step jostling Ienzo </span>
  <em>
    <span>horribly</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>like</span>
  </em>
  <span> feeling this way in a crowd--one thing to wet himself in front of Demyx, another in front of all these people, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>neighbors</span>
  </em>
  <span>, who remembered him as the </span>
  <em>
    <span>prince--</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They were outside, finally, the air slightly cooler against his sweaty skin. There were still more people milling about as the rest of the bars closed. Ienzo was starting to panic, dizzily, drunkenly, all of the fluid catching up to him and </span>
  <em>
    <span>good god he had to piss--</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zo? What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, um.” He looked around dazedly, for an alleyway, anywhere without people. He’d die of embarrassment later but he’d rather do so </span>
  <em>
    <span>without</span>
  </em>
  <span> his pants soaking wet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I know that look.” Demyx tapped his nose. “You have to go, don’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a quick breath. “Quite badly--there was a constant line in there and I--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take a deep breath. It’s okay. We’ll be away from people soon and then you can, uh, water the garden.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo was not entirely sure he </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> wait that long. Why was it so much harder to hold it? </span>
  <em>
    <span>The alcohol</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought, and almost groaned. It seemed everywhere they turned in these </span>
  <em>
    <span>unnecessarily</span>
  </em>
  <span> complicated streets were people their age, smoking, chatting, on their way home. Since when had Radiant Garden had such an active night life? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Since the Heartless population dropped,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thought, trying not to visibly squirm. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Making up for lost time--</span>
  </em>
  <span> panic hitched in his breast. Someone greeted Demyx, but there was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> time to chit-chat when he </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> be peeing--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And peeing, and…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was able to stop the leak. Why did he choose today of all days to wear pants that were not black? It would be blatantly obvious he’d pissed on himself. “I don’t like this,” he said, his eyes watering with panic, making this whole drunk state much less appealing. “I don’t--I can’t--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can. You can. Almost there, Zo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo kept looking, down deserted streets, but the places absent of people were places absent of adequate </span>
  <em>
    <span>cover</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But cover was mattering less and less and this point, he felt another leak, hot and tremulous, and he nearly just let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>prince</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he could not wet himself in public no matter </span>
  <em>
    <span>how badly he wanted to</span>
  </em>
  <span>, people were just starting to </span>
  <em>
    <span>trust</span>
  </em>
  <span> the entity that was Ienzo again, he was finally respected again, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zo. Breathe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so full. At least in scenes he knew it was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing to let go. “It’s really--I really--” He barely sounded like himself. “Demyx, I have to--” He squeezed himself once, briefly, and the resulting humiliation made him lose another small leak. It was going to happen, he realized, sooner than later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx grabbed his hand and moved quicker, but the movement just made him leak again. They eddied out into the plaza before the castle gates. It was darker out here, deep blue night. Dazedly he noticed there was no one--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Ienzo heard the water, the small stream that wove around the plaza, and while ordinarily this did not bother him when he was desperate, he usually was not </span>
  <em>
    <span>drunk</span>
  </em>
  <span>--a trickle left him so tantalizingly-- “I can’t. I can’t.” He was on the verge of a full blown panic attack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zo. Zo, look at me. You’re stressing yourself out, which is stressing <em>me</em> out.” Demyx put his hands on his shoulders. “There’s no one here. We’re alone. Just pee. Let go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And maybe it was the fact that he’d all but trained himself to do so when Demyx said those words, but he did, piss leaving him full force, to the point where he barely heard the patter of it against the stone, even with the water. The relief was so intense, so powerful, that he was dizzy, and he moaned a little despite himself as the hours of straining pressure eased. He realized on some small level he could’ve easily just taken his dick out, but feeling it pool down his legs, it was too late for that. The warmth felt nice in the cool night. He was gripping Demyx just to stay standing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit,</span>
  </em>
  <span> no wonder you were freaking out. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> had to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was not quite ending. The sudden absence of tension made being drunk pleasant again. Ienzo looked up. Wetting in front of Demyx, at least, was familiar. But good god was the relief beautiful. He leaned up and kissed him, and Demyx kissed him back, so he pulled him close. He felt Demyx’s hand cross his hip, to his cock, and began rubbing at him as he finally finished pissing. One kind of release made him crave another, and he pressed hard against Demyx’s hand. He slipped his hand below Ienzo’s waistband and began to stroke him in earnest, running his tongue along Ienzo’s. He was already hard from the relief. Ienzo clung to him, bucking against his hand--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey! You there! This is private property!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Ienzo gasped, because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that voice. “Dilan,” he hissed, in panic. “That’s Dilan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx, also drunk, didn’t quite notice, stroking him once or twice more. But then his head snapped up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was one thing to be caught making out with Demyx, but he was also </span>
  <em>
    <span>covered</span>
  </em>
  <span> in piss, obviously so. Demyx glanced towards the flashlight beam. “Trust me,” he said to Ienzo, and shoved him hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He landed in the small inlet, cold water drenching him instantly. By the time Dilan had crossed over to him, it just looked like Demyx was helping him up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, it’s just you two,” Dilan said, his lip curling. “Why are you--</span>
  <em>
    <span>wet</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I tripped,” Ienzo said breathlessly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A bit too much fun tonight, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could say that,” Demyx said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He exhaled heavily. “Try not to track too much water on the carpet,” he said tiredly. Then, heading back to his post, they heard him mutter, “waste of my time… just at the good bit of my book…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx looked at Ienzo for a long moment, and then he started laughing. Ienzo did too; he couldn’t help it. Demyx wiped at his eyes. “Holy fuck.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Crisis averted, then.” He sighed. “Thanks for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” He kissed him once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you still be interested in… getting a room, as it were?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx smirked, and the smirk made Ienzo’s cock stir. “My </span>
  <em>
    <span>pleasure.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The launderette was closer than their rooms; it was here they landed. Ienzo’s clothing was feeling cold and uncomfortable at this point, so it was incredibly relieving for Demyx to help him out of it. He kept kissing him, tasting salt and cider, working at Demyx’s clothes as well. Demyx pressed him against the wall and trailed his lips down across his collarbone, his nipple, his belly button, dropping to a kneel. He stroked Ienzo’s cock, slowly, before easing his mouth over it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something about being not-quite-sober made the sensation more intense, brighter, and Ienzo could not help but jut his hips a little. Demyx worked him harder, his tongue sweeping along the sensitive underside of it. He panted. “Let me… Let me…” The tension of the night, the thought of that so </span>
  <em>
    <span>excellent</span>
  </em>
  <span> piss, made him need release. “I want to--” He felt his head roll back against the wall. Demyx was moving so </span>
  <em>
    <span>slowly</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if indulgently, Demyx bobbed quicker, and hearing his sharp small breaths finally forced Ienzo over the edge. He jerked a little, unable to keep himself up, sharp pleasure blotting everything else out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he mumbled. As he so slowly came back to his senses, Ienzo turned. He straddled him, forcing him to back up, and took Demyx’s dick into his hand. Ienzo kissed down along him, the taste of sweat and skin grounding. He thought he felt a taut tension in Demyx’s belly, but hearing a small moan, it didn’t matter. He crouched down and ran his tongue along the tip of it, tasting the salt of pre.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx moaned and tightened his hands in Ienzo’s hair. He took it slowly, loving the way it tasted, felt in his mouth. The way he could feel it </span>
  <em>
    <span>tense</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the strange intimacy of it. It had taken a while to learn to do this without gagging himself. Feeling Demyx just completely </span>
  <em>
    <span>submit</span>
  </em>
  <span> to him made Ienzo melt, the need to maintain that trust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx had worked so hard all evening to look after him. Ienzo had to reward that. He deepthroated him, clenching those fragile muscles, letting it slide in and out of his mouth as deeply as he could. Before long he could feel the quivers as he got closer, heard the panting and Demyx moaning his name. A few moments later, he finished inside of Ienzo, the warmth. Ienzo did not mind cum inside of his mouth as much as he did it on the rest of his body. It felt stranger to like the taste than it did to enjoy pissing on him, which was odd. “Ienzo,” Demyx began weakly. “Could I… do you think I could…” He was breathing hard, his face flushed. “Let go on you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I, um, feel it. Badly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a quick breath. “Yes. Yes. You can.” Ienzo leaned up to kiss him. The wetness on his skin was almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>silky</span>
  </em>
  <span>, chasing away the cold and fear he’d felt earlier. He loved that Demyx trusted him enough to do this. It pooled between them and gathered on the floor, and hearing Demyx give that soft sigh of relief was a gift in itself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Worn, dazed, drained, and half-drunk, they held each other on the cool tile. “I want this forever,” Demyx murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do too.” He listened to Demyx’s heart beat. “Let’s get some sleep.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An unanticipated moment leads to a greater realization in Ienzo and Demyx's relationship.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He supposed being in love was fascinating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was not as obsessive as Ienzo had once believed, not quite so dramatic. Cultivating love and vulnerability on top of their trust. It was something that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>made</span>
  </em>
  <span>, something that ran deeper than just sex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Though the sex </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They weren’t always quite so careful now as they had been in the early days; Ienzo wondered if they were perhaps waiting to be caught, rather than admit to the fact that they had a relationship. Doors no longer quite locked. Kissing in places no longer so private.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today they were actually in his bedroom, on his bed, which shouldn’t have felt strange. They’d both come here directly after work. Well, more like Demyx had met him and Ienzo had taken him here, claiming a backache. Demyx kissed him along his throat, his lips </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> skimming the scar, but the sensation was no longer triggering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> odd, he decided. He no longer felt so dreadfully self-conscious about every little motion, every little grind against him. He could just… do it. Be free from his mind for however long it took them to do this. Demyx reached down to unbutton his slacks, his fingers running so tentatively against his stomach, his bladder, and Ienzo winced. He had not </span>
  <em>
    <span>intentionally</span>
  </em>
  <span> held all day, but he’d been distracted. “Are you okay?” Demyx asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine. I just--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shifted his hips. The grinding had been sufficient to put off the desperation, but not for long. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to do this </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Sex was risky; a scene was asking for it. But despite himself, he felt a flush of arousal at the thought, his dick hardening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx brushed the hair out of Ienzo’s face. “Well, if you want to go pee, we can pick up right where we left off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...I probably should.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want to, do you? Go?” His voice dropped a little, and Ienzo shuddered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flushed. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> hitting that point of pleasant desperation, where it wasn’t yet painful, the thought of relief bringing him into that heightened mindset. Ienzo wondered briefly if he were incapable of having vanilla sex anymore, though he knew that was not true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx kissed him, and Ienzo couldn’t help but kiss him back, long and hard, pushing his tongue into his mouth. Demyx gripped at his back, jostling him, and he winced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to, but I should,” Ienzo said. “I can’t exactly make a mess here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...But I’m not done with you.” He kept kissing his jaw, and Ienzo exhaled heavily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay, fine.” He chuckled. “Just don’t take too long, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He got off of him and took a few shaky steps towards the bathroom. His heart was beating so </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard</span>
  </em>
  <span>. If he was in here he might as well clean himself out while he was at it--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shed his clothing slowly, wrinkling his nose when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. But the air felt nice on his skin. He splashed some water on his face, his heart beating so </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He turned towards the toilet and tried to pee, but he was too hard, so he spent some quite agonizing and annoying moments thinking of boring things to will away the erection. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought of Demyx out there, waiting for him… the sensation of being pleasantly full… made it difficult. He knew they would both be disappointed if he called this off, but he couldn’t seriously do anything like this </span>
  <em>
    <span>outside</span>
  </em>
  <span> of their safe space. The longer he thought about it, the fuller he felt. Perhaps if he got clean it would help things, because if there was ever an unerotic process that was it. So Ienzo did so, aware he was probably already taking too long, but it didn’t help. His heart was fluttering, and his thoughts were racing, and the longer he waited here the worse it got. Again, he tried to go, but simply </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed a little at himself, mostly out of stress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a gentle knock at the door. “Zo? You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll find this hilarious,” he told Demyx. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pee. I’m too hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo heard a muffled chuckle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s like a positive feedback loop. The worse it is, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>worse</span>
  </em>
  <span> it is.” A few heartbeats later, it came to him. Maybe he couldn’t fuck on the bed like this. </span>
  <span>But the bathroom was tiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt gross just thinking about it. At the same time…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed like he and Demyx came to the same conclusion. “Would you want me to, uh, help you out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would that be… so strange?” Anxiety made him shiver.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After everything we’ve done, </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> is weird?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess you have a point.” He crossed over to the door and opened it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gave Ienzo a once over, seeing his nudity. “Were you--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I figured I may as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so funny.” He kissed him. “...I was hoping you would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo kissed him back, pulling him close, wondering at the feeling of Demyx’s clothing on his bare skin. His need was worsening, sending a prickle of goosebumps across his body which had no business feeling as good as it did. A small moan caught in his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So…” Demyx said softly. “What if I… fucked you right here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Two birds one stone,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thought dazedly. Ienzo took a sharp breath. “Please.” He reached to help him undress, his hands trembling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’d you leave the lube?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bedside drawer. The top one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed him one last time and for a long moment Ienzo waited, naked and dying to pee and painfully turned on. Maybe he should’ve felt ashamed, but he didn’t, not even a little bit. He squirmed a little bit against the counter</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx came back, kicking off his underwear. He was hard too, and Ienzo crossed the two or so steps to take it into his hand, pressing his lips against Demyx’s collarbone, his chest, tasting the odd spice of sweat. For a moment they were just hands and mouths and touch, his bladder and cock pulsing in time with his heartbeat, an ache that made him feel vaguely high. He heard the cap of the lube and felt Demyx’s strong fingers along his ass, sliding one in slowly, then two, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>quite</span>
  </em>
  <span> reaching that spot, but the tease was enough with his fullness to make him gasp. Too soon, he felt them leaving him. With his other hand, Demyx turned him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> to just give in to him, let him do what he would. To just let everything </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span> for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ready?” Demyx whispered against his ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always.” He was already a quivering mess, trying not to shift from foot to foot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d done this enough that feeling his cock slide into him was familiar, but no less beautiful. Ienzo took a sharp breath, feeling it jolt his bladder, so sweetly painful. He’d never been fucked standing up, though, and it made keeping his balance an odd challenge. He ended up leaning partially against the counter, too weak to fully support himself, so much </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> crashing over him. Demyx was taking him so </span>
  <em>
    <span>slowly</span>
  </em>
  <span>, punishingly so, one hand against his chest, the other over the tender swell of his bladder, reminding him each and every thrust how badly he needed relief. He heard himself moaning, soft little noises which he’d once thought pathetic until he knew how good it felt to hear Demyx’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you go…” He could barely form words, dizzy at this point, “a little faster?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx’s voice was a purr. “Why? I’m enjoying you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The denial just sent another wave of pleasure through him, and he trembled. He wondered if it were possible for a person to feel so much pleasure they fainted, and if so, if he were getting there. Demyx held onto him more insistently. Ienzo could feel every bit of his cock as it moved in and out of him, every little rock as it pressed against his g-spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take, need the only thing on his mind. Which one would his body prioritize first? But god it would feel so good to just let go, to let himself fall apart. The thought of relief, of </span>
  <em>
    <span>release</span>
  </em>
  <span> was almost too much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx’s hand slipped down from his bladder to his cock, stroking it, and he began to fuck him harder. Ienzo could hear their skin pressing together, the odd animalness of it, consciousness growing vague, focused solely on getting to the point where he could come so he could </span>
  <em>
    <span>piss</span>
  </em>
  <span> already. He reached back to grasp at Demyx’s hair and felt him press kisses against his neck. They were rocking together now, the jostling of it so beautifully painful. “I… I have to…” He mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I know,” Demyx replied equally as hazy. He gripped Ienzo’s cock with a little more force. “You’re so beautiful like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling that hand and dick move almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>in time</span>
  </em>
  <span> brought him to a place beyond thought, beyond reason or inhibitions, lasting too long and not long enough until finally he heard himself cry out, pleasure breaking over him in a wave so strong Demyx had to grasp him to keep him up. It took a long moment of struggling to catch his breath before he had softened enough to start pissing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo realized Demyx was still inside him, and feeling himself being fucked for a moment as the relief began to hit in earnest was the best thing he’d felt, perhaps ever. But too soon Demyx was finishing inside of him, holding him tightly, and for a moment all that was audible was their heavy breathing and the soft patter of pee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sensation of relief was thick and heady, making the world around him a bit blurred. All he could do for a long moment was hold onto the counter and piss until he was empty enough to begin thinking again, a beautiful clarity taking over. Ienzo felt Demyx ease out of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” was all he said, and Ienzo had to agree. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Quite.” He was still gasping. In his peripheral he saw Demyx leaning against the counter, trying to gather himself. Finally he was through peeing, noticing more acutely the warmth along his legs, at his feet, but he was too weak to clean it up right then. After a moment or so, Demyx seemed to return, and grabbed the dirty towel from its bar on the wall to mop up his mess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” he asked Ienzo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>H nodded. “I just need a moment.” He winced as he felt the towel by his feet. “I could’ve… cleaned that up…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine. It helps ground me.” He put the towel in the hamper and reached over to start a bath. Shakily, Ienzo climbed into the tub. “Can I… join you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Sure.” There was just barely enough room for both of them. Strangely, this felt more intimate than the sex they’d just had, and Ienzo’s fingers shook as he started to bathe himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a while they just sat in the water. Demyx’s mood seemed to have shifted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s on your mind?” Ienzo asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He exhaled. “I… I’m getting tired of sneaking around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo felt a prickle of adrenaline, of panic. But there was enough honestly left in him to admit, “I am too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you. I love </span>
  <em>
    <span>being</span>
  </em>
  <span> with you.” He squeezed his knee. “But I know you… have a lot on the line.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo scoffed. “Like what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Are you even out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cocked his head a little. “The others owe me,” he said, feeling a finger of anger as the beautiful afterglow was punctured by the memories. “After what they put me through… they have no right to judge me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think they would?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo looked at him, his hair softened with sweat and water, but his gaze so </span>
  <em>
    <span>present.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He floundered for something to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Demyx was always smarter than given credit. “It’s because it’s me, isn’t it,” he said simply, with a small, sad smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo took a breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I know it’s complicated. But we’re all </span>
  <em>
    <span>different.</span>
  </em>
  <span> And I… I don’t know. After all that I feel I deserve some honesty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo realized he had a choice to make; the same nonsense he went through every day, his supposed “reputation”, or Demyx.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his relief, the choice was easy. “Yes. You do.” He took a long, deep breath again. He nodded. “I’ll tell them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He seemed surprised by this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to lose you. That’s worth eating some crow, I think.” He smiled. “I’ve had enough of being a coward.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx leaned forward to kiss him. “Me too.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Somehow finally found inspiration for zemyx day... thanks so much to everyone who has read so far!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Ienzo was trying to be on his best behavior.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today was a big day for a lot of reasons. It was his first time off-world since becoming human, for example. They were flying over to Twilight Town so Even could make sure Roxas, Naminé, and Xion’s replicas were still performing as they should. Ansem wanted Ienzo to pull some data from the computer terminal there, as the transfer from terminal to terminal wasn’t perfect and often took a long time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was another reason he was trying to behave, though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got everything?” Demyx asked. There was an excited flush in his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think so,” Ienzo said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is gonna be great,” he said, squeezing him gently around the waist. “I can’t wait to finally eat at this place everyone’s been raving about--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If we have time,” Ienzo said. “We might not have time. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> coming to help me, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx sighed. “Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’d best go,” Even said. He saw Demyx, his nose wrinkling--his reaction whenever they were in a room together. “The time difference is significant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, man,” Demyx said. “Forgot it’s gonna take a while to get there.” He stretched.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now,” Even said. “It’s hard enough to get those hooligans in one place, anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They have school, Even,” Ienzo said. “But--ah--might I run back inside for a moment?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever for? We’ve got everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He bit his lip. “I guess you’re right.” He could wait until they got there. It wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> strong of an urge, and besides, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> long of a flight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right?</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Gummiships were cramped and awkward under the best of circumstances. It didn’t help that Cid from the restoration committee, who had so </span>
  <em>
    <span>politely</span>
  </em>
  <span> offered to take them, was a rather aggressive flyer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo was uncomfortable. The harness was tight (he couldn’t remember any harnesses in Sora’s ship, he thought sourly), making him aware of the piss he hadn’t been able to take before leaving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” Demyx asked, squeezing his hand. “Nervous flyer?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not at all,” Ienzo said. “The… harness is just kind of tight around my throat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be fine. It’s only a few hours.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hours</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No. It wasn’t that bad. He can--and had--managed more for longer and had been </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But he hadn’t--he realized uncomfortably--even been able to go since he’d woken up--Even had kept him on the move, gathering things, and of course Demyx had so </span>
  <em>
    <span>helpfully</span>
  </em>
  <span> brought him a flask of coffee--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He crossed his legs, noting that helped significantly. Partially anxiety, he decided.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A jolt of turbulence brought him back into the present. But not entirely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure you’re okay?” Demyx asked. “You’re so tense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” Ienzo tried to reassure him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it because we might see him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who? Ah--” Ienzo swallowed, catching Demyx’s drift. He’d been too distracted for </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> to occur to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me and Even disagree about a lot, but we’ll keep him away from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just the mansion. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” A </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of coffee, he realized. “How much longer do you think it’ll be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh… Cid said something like four hours, and it’s been, like, one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah.” He could tough it out. He knew he could. But the thought of it made his bladder throb a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t it weird we have to like </span>
  <em>
    <span>travel</span>
  </em>
  <span> travel now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> weird,” Ienzo conceded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like, before we could just…” Demyx waved his hand. “And be somewhere?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo </span>
  <em>
    <span>wished</span>
  </em>
  <span> they could be there. “Better to do it this way, and keep our hearts intact,” Ienzo said. “I… much prefer being in the realm of light.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx kissed him. “Me too. But this so boring,” he whined.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even, who had so far been silent up by Cid, said, “Keep it down. I’m trying to think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo mentally cursed him. So far Demyx’s babbling was distracting him from the steadily-growing pressure in his bladder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he murmured. He took out a pair of earphones and offered one to Ienzo. “Want to listen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did. Demyx’s compositions could calm him in a bad mood, could tell stories. He rested his head against his shoulder, trying to shift his hips into a comfortable position. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span> had he let himself drink so much before leaving? Why hadn’t he fought harder to pee? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop thinking about it.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Finally he found a somewhat comfortable position, and sighed a little. He could definitely do this. This was child’s play. He used to be able to hold it until it physically </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span>, for Kingdom Hearts’s sake, and he wasn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>desperate</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Then he saw Even observing his casual touch with Demyx, a pinched, quasi-disgusted expression. “Must you?” he mouthed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo scowled. He sat back up, noticing that this position was no longer </span>
  <em>
    <span>quite</span>
  </em>
  <span> so comfortable. It was getting worse. He took a deep breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re smooth sailing for now. Ya’ll can get up and move around,” Cid said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo breathed a quick sigh of relief. Perhaps there were some facilities here he’d missed when loading their equipment. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> hold it for another few hours, but why make himself suffer needlessly? “I need to check on something,” Ienzo whispered, trying to ease out of his harness. It took a little bit of doing, and Demyx helped him loosen it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hurry back,” Demyx said. “Even’s gonna give me the evil eye the whole time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo rolled his eyes, and very deliberately to spite Even, kissed Demyx on the lips. The man turned bright red and looked away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right. Place to pee. He noticed it much more acutely when he stood, the muscle trembling. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Idiot</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Ienzo thought to himself. He walked back through the narrow space, opening what looked to be doors, but they were all storage--things like emergency oxygen and food supplies and spare gummi blocks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, kiddo, but if you’re looking for a bathroom this thing ain’t got one. We’re not an airline.” Cid’s tone was teasing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo fought to keep his face and tone neutral. “I’m not,” he said. “I was just… looking for something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of our things are in the back,” Even said coldly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Ienzo said. “Thanks.” He walked to the back and closed the door behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath to steady himself. The pressure was still worsening. He wasn’t in the danger zone yet, but it was definitely uncomfortable and sitting down would make it worse.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Relax. Relax. Worrying about it makes it worse. </span>
  </em>
  <span>So what if he were a little desperate in front of Demyx?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t just Demyx, though. It was Even. Who, to be fair, had seen him piss himself not that long ago and hadn’t held it against him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t just Demyx or Even. It was Cid, too, one of the main members of the Restoration Committee. Ienzo had worked so </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be accepted by them, to be seen as separate from Zexion. If he wet himself--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was not going to wet himself. It wasn’t that much longer. He could do this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kid, you might wanna come back,” he heard distantly. “It looks like it’s gonna get a bit rough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo took a deep breath. Maybe he should pretend this was one of his scenes, and holding for the longest would have the best reward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo returned to his seat and strapped himself back in. Like he’d thought, returning was much more uncomfortable. He winced without meaning to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Demyx asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. “Yes. Fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Time seemed to slow to a crawl. Even with Demyx’s music playing in his ear, more and more of Ienzo’s attention was being pulled to his bladder, which felt full and taut against the belt, and his pants, too. He shifted again, trying to get comfortable, but he could only do so much in the harness, and the little bumps of turbulence weren’t helping. He felt every little blip and shimmer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could hold it. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>had to.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He wouldn’t wet himself because he simply wouldn’t. That was all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But feeling the turbulence, Ienzo wasn’t so sure, and the anxiety of falling apart in front of someone he was trying to hold in esteem only made him more hyper aware of how full he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ienzo?” Demyx prompted softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just nervous,” he said. It was the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got you. You know that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo nodded. He wondered if telling Demyx would be able to help somehow--if he were able to get hard? But would he want to be walking around with an erection?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No. Not that either. And they were in earshot of Even and Cid. He settled back, forced himself to think of very boring things, of what he had to do when they arrived (aside from immediately seek a toilet, or even a tree out of sight, he wasn’t picky--).</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stop. Thinking. About it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo started looking through research on his phone. His vain attempts to get comfortable were not helping, so instead he tried staying stock-still, his legs tightly crossed. He rested his wrist against his crotch, pressing down subtly, and that seemed to help. Somehow in all this time was passing, and much to Ienzo’s relief (but not the relief he wanted), they were about to touch down.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank goodness. I can finally pee.</span>
  </em>
  <span> See, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> he could hold on, it was all in his head--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bump was unpleasant, and he had to strain hard. He hissed out a breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ienzo?” Demyx asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just a bit nauseous,” Ienzo lied. “Please help us unload?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course, babe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Even said loudly. “At least around me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx rolled his eyes. Ienzo struggled out of the harness again, trying not to hyperfixate on the oncoming feeling of relief. He’d done it. He’d done it and it was fine. He was getting himself worked up for nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He carried one bag of equipment up towards the mansion, trying to keep his pace even, normal. He went down towards the computer, logged in, his bladder </span>
  <em>
    <span>pounding.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He could not focus on what Ansem wanted like this. He simply couldn’t. Ienzo went back upstairs. “All good?” Demyx asked, struggling under the weight Even forced him to take. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should help him, he knew. “Yes, fine. I’ll help you in a moment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got it,” Demyx said. “You do whatever you have to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He went upstairs, opening doors at random. Asking for working plumbing in this place was a lot, but he also knew Ansem had lived here for a time, so it had to be quasi-habitable. It was starting to ache now, and Ienzo was starting to panic. It had been a long while since he’d had to piss this badly and it hadn’t been his choice. No toilet. No toilet. No toilet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Ienzo?” Even asked from the main floor, looking tetchy as always.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m looking for something Ansem left behind,” he lied, not as smoothly as he’d hoped. His bladder throbbed in time with his heartbeat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well would you </span>
  <em>
    <span>help</span>
  </em>
  <span> me please? They’re going to be here soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d really rather get this over with--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ienzo.” His tone was no-nonsense. “There will be plenty of time later for your faffery.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallowed. “Coming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made his way down the steps, joltingly. To his mortification, Xion, Roxas, and Naminé were there… trailed by--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, buddy!” Demyx’s voice was loud and jovial. “How are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lea shrugged. “Good to see you, man. Totally forgot you were living in Radiant Garden.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled. There was something… cold and calculating in it. Distracting. “Yup, I really like it there,” he said. “In fact, me and Ienzo got together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo was wondering if he was imagining it, or if Lea went pale. “You did?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Demyx said, his tone a bit colder than Ienzo had ever heard it, “we did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Lea said again. “Good for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo felt his bladder throb. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shut up, you,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thought. Seeing Lea again only worsened his sense of panic. He had to find somewhere to pee to hold onto his dignity. Anywhere. Maybe if he went back outside--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Help me, Ienzo, would you?” Even said. “I’d like for this to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> take an eternity.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which was how he found himself taking samples from the three of them, trying not to let his hands tremble, trying to find veins on the first try. Keeping himself upright and straightened when he wanted nothing more than to bury his hands in his crotch (cursing that he let it get to this point all the while) took almost all of his concentration. He could only half answer questions--not just the ones Even asked him about the samples, but the ones that the kids asked about how he was doing and his life now. He thought about peeing, about wetting himself right then and there, how </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> it would feel. But Ienzo had to remain </span>
  <em>
    <span>composed, mature. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He thought about peeing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why on earth are you shaking?” Even asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I think I have a touch of motion sickness from the flight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, then take a motion sickness pill and get back to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hoped--mentally pleaded--that Even would request urine samples from them, that he might find a bathroom at last. But once he had blood, cheek swabs, hair, and some miscellaneous tissue, the man seemed content. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Keep it together. Keep it together.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ienzo glanced over at Demyx, who smiled encouragingly, deliberately putting space between Ienzo and Lea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you wanna hang out with us?” Roxas asked. “Maybe get some dinner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I would love to,” Ienzo said. “But I’m not sure if we have to head back immediately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, stay,” Xion said, pouting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The samples need to be kept pure,” Ienzo told them. His bladder pounded, and it took immense strength to keep his expression neutral, to keep his hands away from his dick. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. He’d held liters for </span>
  <em>
    <span>hours</span>
  </em>
  <span>, why was he so desperate? <em>Stress,</em> he decided. There was a lot on the line today, more than (not so) quiet lovemaking in his and Demyx's launderette. And <em>fucking</em> Lea was here. “Better to go back to freeze them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t been able to urinate since last night, and since then, there had been </span>
  <em>
    <span>lots</span>
  </em>
  <span> of tea and coffee. </span>
  <em>
    <span>So much.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“After all,” he continued, “these are your bodies we’re talking about. I’m sure once the details are firmed up, we’ll have plenty of time to spend together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s right,” Naminé said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get these samples back to the ship,” Even said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take them,” Ienzo said quickly. Even if he had a moment alone to hold himself… “You can prepare the equipment.” Could he <em>handle</em> another four hours in transit? No, he knew, he <em>couldn't, </em>his heart beating fast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The liquid nitrogen is in the--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” he said dazedly, taking the case with him. He was dizzy. He’d never had to piss so badly in his entire life. As soon as he could set this kit in ice he could go outside and pee. He didn’t care who saw it anymore--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Ienzo!” Demyx said cheerfully. “Need help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo glanced towards him. “Actually, yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx took the bag from him. Together, they went back outside. His muscles were positively </span>
  <em>
    <span>screaming</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and it wasn’t pleasant. Cid was resting by the ship’s bow, throwing a wrench into Ienzo’s “pee immediately” plans. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was quick,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think there are a few more things Even has to tend to,” Ienzo said. “We just wanted to ice these samples.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be my guest,” he said with a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo climbed back into the ship, the movement making his bladder spasm. He went into the back storage, found the ice, eased the pieces inside. The hiss of the chemicals just made him want to-- “Oh, god,” he mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Demyx asked again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m not okay,” Ienzo admitted at last. “I’ve had to relieve myself since before we left--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes went wide. “Ienzo, that’s like, seven hours--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m painfully aware.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> He took a deep breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You couldn’t find two minutes to pee?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been trying--” He couldn’t help it anymore; his hands shot to his crotch. It only helped marginally. At least with Demyx he wasn’t completely humiliated. “There are no places to do so inside either--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Demyx said. “Then why don’t we go for a little walk? There’s a forest nearby--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t,” he said. “Cid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he can sympathize.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Demyx.” He felt another spasm, pee creeping down his urethra. “I’ve worked so hard to be in good standing with them--after everything I’ve done--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t have to be like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I can keep this up much longer,” Ienzo said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um…” Demyx struggled to think, looking around their supplies. “Hang on a minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo wasn’t sure how much longer he could. The desperation was painful now, and Demyx’s presence wasn’t helping, considering how much he associated their alone time with relief and comfort. He squirmed a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx picked up a water bottle. “You can piss into this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought of it made him leak, hot against his boxers, and his panic only increased. “I can’t drink that. I’ll let go for sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He opened it, and even though he turned away Ienzo could hear him drinking, another leak trickling into his underwear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, no--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hold on. Hold on.” Demyx undid the catch of Ienzo’s pants, guiding the bottle towards his dick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if Even comes back--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then it’ll just look like I’m being handsy. Go ahead and pee, Ienzo, you must be dying.” He drew him a little closer. Ienzo felt his hand near his dick, holding the bottle as close as possible. He was too anxious to be aroused, though normally this situation would be something he wanted desperately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His bladder clenched again, a trickle of pee leaving him, splattering noisily against the bottle. He groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Relax.” Demyx’s tone was pleading.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m trying.” There were times--rare as they were--where he’d been too full, and had held too long, to let go easily. Goading those muscles to soften when they had been tense so long took a bit of work, and trust. Ienzo was easily able to accomplish this when they were alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there was the threat of someone walking in on them. “This has to be hurting you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It really is,” Ienzo said, near tears. “God, I’ve had to--” Another spurt left him, so tempting. He took a sharp breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead. Go for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing it patter against the plastic helped, and feeling and smelling Demyx holding him close. Another spurt left him, heavier than the last, and he strained to let go fully, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he wanted to so badly.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Demyx would not judge him. Demyx was trying to </span>
  <em>
    <span>help</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. He felt a thin stream start, running against the bottle’s sides, and the sound of it was so tempting, so lovely, that he was finally able to pee a bit more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of it,” Demyx said. “I’ve got you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got me,” Ienzo repeated dazedly. He let go, for a second in pure </span>
  <em>
    <span>bliss</span>
  </em>
  <span> at finally being able to release everything inside of him. The stream grew noticeably louder. It shouldn’t feel this good to be letting go, the muscles easing in their strain. He moaned a little and pressed his face against Demyx’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does that feel good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So good,” he whispered. “I’ve had to--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought so. Since we were flying when you were all tense. Why didn’t you tell me? I could've helped you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo hummed softly. The sense of release was too beautiful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um--Ienzo--you’ve gotta try to stop. It’s almost full.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes widened, and he realized, “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He’d held too much for too long.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well--try--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I am trying.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” The panic was back, and worse than before. Stopping the flow was causing him physical pain. “Demyx, I can’t--” He heard a soft dripping onto the room’s floor. “Oh, god…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey. Relax. Relax,” Demyx said. “Just… if it hurts, you have to let go. You’ll get sick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This Ienzo knew too well. The muscles he’d been clenching all day were too tired, and he was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>desperate</span>
  </em>
  <span> even with that much out of him. He kept peeing, mortification and panic threatening him, while the physical sense of relief was too potent. He moaned a little again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep going,” Demyx said, guiding his dick so it wouldn’t soak either of them. “Keep going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo had no choice but to comply. He was out of the danger zone, very nearly sane, already mortified, but it felt too good to stop. He heard his own piss against the floor and hoped nothing important was getting wet. After too long, it finally stopped, his bladder sore. “Oh no,” he said, feeling his eyes water. “Oh--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx picked up a jar of rubbing alcohol which they hadn’t even needed, but Even insisted they bring. He smashed it onto the floor, the smell covering up any scent of urine. “You dropped this,” he said. “You’re so clumsy, Ienzo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tucked his dick back into his pants and swiped at his eyes. “I’m so clumsy,” he repeated softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx began mopping it up with a blanket. “Are you okay?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better now,” he admitted. “What would I do without you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leaned up to kiss him. “Gotta justify my room and board somehow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ienzo pulled him close. "Thank you," he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, any time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...I wish that had been fun." He sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We can do that soon, if you want."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded against Demyx's shoulder. "We should head back," he murmured. "We have a dinner to go to, don't we?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Demyx kissed him. "Yeah. We do."</span>
</p>
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